I’m not joking. I really don’t know who Justin Bieber is and he seems to be a constant trending topic on Twitter and the like. Instead of Googling him, I figure it’s just better to write a post, right? Also, this video by some YouTube pop group named Menya is apparently a dirty cover version of one of his songs.

According to Joe My God these are all NYU freshmen? Having ‘been there’ (meaning having been an NYU freshman) I have some advice.

Letter number 1:

Dear unremarkable girl who is obviously the star,

Please get a new look. You have a great voice for autotune. You obviously like to perform. You can go far! You just need to refine your look a little, you’re being way overshadowed by your Asian friend’s obvious hipness. I know i can be hard to out-hip Asians with good haircuts, but you could at least try harder. Also you should talk to your friends in film school and get some lights and greeen screen. The video would be way better if you had b-roll backgrounds that made it look like you were flying over mountains or in a jungle or something.

You also look like you might fit in better in California than New York. That’s not an insult. I am just sayin’.

Sincerely -

A former unremarkable NYU Freshman

Letter number 2:

Dear girl who looks like Ginger Takahashi -

You are probably the best thing about this video. Keep up the good work. Are you in art school? If so your whole look and steez makes me thing of this awesome girl named Ginger Takahashi who is in some fun bands. One of them is called The Ballet but I don’t really know what they are doing anymore? The other is called Men and is with JD Samson of Le Tigre fame and they are playing tomorrow night at the Bell House.  You should go study her, because I am her fan and I want to be your fan too.

Best -

Former wanna be art kid

Letter number 3:

Dear really good looking but self conscious NYU otter cub -

Please learn to get into the dancing more. You are super cute and if you weren’t doing that ‘I am sooo self conscious so I look dead in the eyes’ thing every gay man in the east village and williamsburg would be sweatin you. You would have so many boyfriends. AND DON’T YOU WANT SOOOO MANY BOYFRIENDS????? (that’s rhetorical).

Best -

Former NYU Freshman who wants to have a crush on you

Thanks for uploading to YouTube Menya!!! Now please tell me who Justin Bieber is?

4 Responses to “Who Is Justin Bieber?”

1. Erin Says:
   February 19th, 2010 at 10:18 am

   I recommend buying the “my world 2.0 fan pack” to find out.

   [reply this comment]

2. mikeellecram Says:
   February 19th, 2010 at 11:09 am

   Look what he does to women!

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI&feature=player_embedded

   [reply this comment]

3. JJS III Says:
   February 19th, 2010 at 1:23 pm

   Justin Bieber is the antichrist. That’s who he is.

   Actually, he’s just some tiny white kid who Usher decided to take under his wing as a protege. You should see his first music video. It’s terrifying. He does all these Mariah Carey hand movements and pretends he’s soulful.

   [reply this comment]

4. Bruce Says:
   May 19th, 2010 at 6:46 am

   Look what he does to women!

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI&feature=player_embedded

   [reply this comment]

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