I’m finally brewing my own kombucha just like I always wanted!! Here’s a picture of the baby good friend Josh Thorson handed off to me at the last Metropolitan BBQ.

That’s the kombucha in front of the beers. I seem to have successfully avoided contamination and have moved it into a jar/jug with sweetened tea that it is happily fermenting.

I can’t wait for the stuff to finish it’s first batch. A quick list of health benefits I expect to see using this potent probiotic.

• Sense of well-being
• Helps to relieve congestion in airways
• Thicker hair
• Help with asthma
• Stress buster
• Increase sex drive
• Regulate Intestines.
• Cure and prevent Candida Overgrowth.
• Clears and improves skin
• Reduces / stabilizes blood pressure.
• Prevents and helps heal bladder infections
• Eases carpal tunnel syndrome
• Prevents eczema and psoriasis
• Hair and nails grow faster
• Cleanse toxins from the system
• Smash flus and colds
• Improved eyesight
• The ability to pick up anyone I desire whenever
• The ability to stop time whenever I feel like blogging at work
• The ability to turn invisible when someone boring and ugly tries to hit on me at the bar
• The ability to speak to animals and have them do my bidding
• Fit into any jeans, no matter how skinny
• Complete control over the smoke monster from Lost which will now fly out of my butt and paralyze and devour all who oppose me.
• The ability to vanquish my enemies with honor and win UFC style brawls
• The ability to grow my penis to the size of a baseball bat at will
• Conversely, The ability to put my penis inside of me and look like a Ken doll at will

So excited guys!

One Response to “I Want My Kombucha-cha Heels”

1. Vagenius Says:
   June 12th, 2008 at 7:27 am

   Ken Doll genitalia = what I picture Whoopi Goldberg’s nude crotch to look like (seriously, if she has no eyebrows…)

   [reply this comment]

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