Posted on April 18th, 2008 by Gambypants
The Pope-a-Ratzi is in town! Happy Mexicans are coming out of the shadows to see him. But guess who’s not so feliz lately? Why, it’s your favorite Junior Senator from New York and aspiring Editor in Chief of these United States, HRC. Despite winning a majority of the votes from the most important voting bloc in the country, Hillary just can’t seem to woe the superdelegates as much as Barry Obama. ¿Cuál es un superdelegate, mista? Oh silly! They are peeps with large amount$ of street cred in the Democratic party and lately Team Clinton just cannot siphon off their support for him. Poor Shmoops.
So it came as no surprise to me when over an VIP breakfast at Balthazar with the Pope, that he himself would publicly endorse Barack Obama. HOLY MOLY! I nearly spit up my eggs en concotte on his sour cream hazelnut waffles. Is that even possible?
“It shall be done!” he declared.
Word.
It got me thinking, if his holiness could come out for Barry O then who else would be in line to embrace Hope™ and endorse him. Who is secretly jacking off to all this promise of Change™ and his audacious audacity? (And more important, can they explain the Economy to me cause we appear to be DOOMED.) To celebrate this revelation, I traipsed over to THE gay waterhole in Brooklyn, the Met, for some vodis and asked some informed fagatrons who they thought might be secretly creaming for the Barry.
- “Honey, honey, I’ll have a whisssly soda” (9%)
- “Totes Rachel Ray. The bitch loves fusion.” (50% );
- “Oh! Prince Harry, or Philip, whichever, they’re both super cute.” (%40);
- “Isn’t John McCain the prez?” (1%)*
All of this hardly matters since by the time we have a Democratic nominee people will be too distracted by the Wars in Iran, in China vis-à-vis Taiwan, in North Korea, and with the janjaweed in Darfur.
*I later went home with that guy–dumb hot jocks, who can resist?
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April 18th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Keep your articles coming, Gamby - they help to clear out my psychic trauma after viewing the latest Meat Picnic episode.
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