So I just moved. It was stressful. But it’s a new era and now I have a place of my own to furnish. However, I am a little worried. I have a feeling I am being haunted by the ghost of three tabby cats. Most likely I am just adjusting to sleeping in a new place. But I prefer to think the former and that kitty ghosts are being bothersome. I told my good friend Amy the story.

Amy:  are you doing anything tonight or just packy packy
unpacky rather
me:  i think just unpacky
btw, having a window
Amy:  RULES RIGHT?
me:  amazing
yeah
Amy:  totes window
me:  i feel so much better in the morning
it’s already making a huge difference for me
Amy:  like, waking up with sunlight
amazay
me:  yeah
oh, did I tell you?
Amy:  i’m glad you love the place!
me:  I think I am being haunted by the spirits of kitties
like, 3 of them
tabbies
no joke
I had the weirdest nightmares about cats jumping on my bed and woke up and was CONVINCED there were three kitties in my place
Amy:  WHAT
me:  and it took me like, 10 minutes to realize that it was a dream
Amy:  haha even your spirit animals are weird
me: of course like, tabbies that paw at a comforter
is what haunts me
Amy: MREAOWWWW (demon cat)
me:  it’s so funny
like, they weren’t even attacking me in the dream
and I was like “how did these cats get in here”
Amy:  like, the most boring horror movie ever
no…the ghosts arsen’t attacking me
they are just kind of bothersome
oh and they are cats
rather than zombies
ZOMBIE CAT

Quick somebody call Zelda Rubenstein!

“This house is clean.”

I think this speaks for itself. This is what happens when you pick up starngers in LA.

[via Everything is Terrible]

It’s St. Paddy’s Day weekend! This is a big deal, at least for me, because I am Irish.

Last year was a little bit of a bust. I made some corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, and carrots as well as served my mother’s award winning soda bread, and only about 3 people could make it.

I’ve have been trying to re-create my family’s tradition of having a yearly Irish feast, and this year it looks like I’ve done it. I can’t tell you the recipe because it’s an ancient Irish secret, but it involves a mustard glaze and braising the meat for a minumum of 4 hours. The cabbage and potatoes and carrots are then boiled in the same water you pre-boil the corned beef in. Meaty! It’s definately a meal worth celebratring.

I just found out good friend Gabe Liedman will be in attendanceand we had a little chat about how this is the sort of meal that will make all the boys fall in love. Our chitty chat after the jump. Read More!

Neither Colin nor I know much about this lady aside from the fact that her name is Patti Stanger, and she is the star of a reality show called Millionaire Matchmaker, now in its second season on Bravo.  So good for her or whatever.  I guess that means she sets up rich dummies with other rich dummies as determined by her producers, who, under the network’s “brand” (as defined by overlord and awesome bi-atch Lauren Zalaznick), make sure to cast Stanger as Cupid for trashbags with deep pockets.

Fine.  Who cares?  As someone who watches a limited amount of TV (30 Rock, Battlestar Galactica, and Wheel of Fortune are eternally burned into my DVR queue, which should speak volumes about my taste) but gets paid to write about it, I should take an objective look at the show.

But I can’t.  Because Stanger, as Colin and I both effortlessly agree, is a monster cunt.

Ummm, Patti?  Let’s talk… Read More!

My good friend Tim Hull sent the greatest news clip my way today. It seems that our recession is pulling New York City back into the eighties and early nineties, back when the West Village was a place for crime, vogue-ing, drag divas, and the fiercest transsexuals, a la Paris is Burning. Can you feel this realness? [via WPIX local news]

Tranny Teens Terrorizing Downtown Girls

WEST VILLAGE (WPIX) — Police say a roving pack of transvestite teens has been targeting females living in a tony West Village building. According to authorities, the trannys would steal the women’s purses and use their stolen credit cards to buy wigs and new clothes.

Two of the teens, Jubril “Dominic” Faggins, 19, and Jhirad “Shanese” Powell, 18 have both been charged with attacking two women at The Archive on Greenwich Street, former home to designer Michael Kors, actress Jennifer Connelly and infamous White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

The first attack happened on the morning of January 29. According to the New York Post Powell told cops, “It was Destiny (another transvestite) that told me to rob the white bitch.”

Court papers say Faggins and Powell followed the woman into the lobby, held her down, punched her and then stole her purse. The two attackers then went on a two-day shopping spree in Brooklyn’s Fulton Mall, charging more than $3500 worth of women’s clothes, jewelry and accessories on her stolen credit card.

Days later, on February 2, the duo returned to the building and attacked another woman.

I’d like to point out that they went to the Fulton Mall. Not SoHo, not Barney’s, not 5th Ave, not Union Square. They went to the Fulton Mall. I hope they did some business at Danice.That store is fierce — great styles at a great price. Werk! I love their choice of apartment building to target as well. You know a place is fabulous when Monica Lewinsky lives there.

However, I’m not sure how GLAAD is going to feel about the use of “tranny” here. I’m pretty sure that’s blatantly defamatory language. Shame on you, WPIX.

Have a good weekend y’all — I gotta go rob some white bitches. I need a new weave.

Did you all know that back in February a woman gave birth to some cheese? I sure hope it was an all natural water birth.

Babies need to be delivered carefully, even delicious cheese babies. Although I have a comment on one doctor’s opinion:

One attending doctor, speaking on the condition that they remain anonymous, remarked that it is not uncommon for some individuals to fake medical conditions in order to gain attention and financial support. Using cheese to fake a pregnancy, however, seems to be unprecedented, even among the mentally ill.

No, good doctor, this is not entirely unprecedented. Technically the use of cheese may be unprecedented, but one other woman in history has gone to such severe lengths.

The only woman to outshine the this fete is Mary Toft, a woman who sent the medical community trying to gain ground in 1726 back into the middle ages. Her story is amazing and you can read it on wikipedia, but basically the woman was overcome with longing for rabbits and began to give bith to them, and the entire village and medical community believed this was possible at the time.

Let’s just hope this cheese incident doesn’t lead to the following sentance in a major publication, “Every creature in town, both men and women, have been to see and feel her: the perpetual emotions, noises and rumblings in her Belly are something prodigious; all the eminent physicians, surgeons and man-midwives in London are there Day and Night to watch her next production.”

Last night I was privileged enough to get into the Jeremy Kost opening at Dactyl Foundation. Jeremy Kost takes fetishistic pictures of skinny model boys with high cheekbones and also makes videos of them. Below is an example of one of his smaller works from “Jeremy Kost, After The Party.”

This particular piece is kind of like a David Hockney inspired softcore gay porn, I guess. But I’m not really blogging about this party so I can discuss the art. I will say this before I move on, I wasn’t particularly moved and while I wouldn’t say I disliked the work, there was something I found strangely dated about it. There’s something about this show that is a strange combination of a really emo teenager’s livejournal pics and the kind of electroclash glamour popular circa 2002. While viewing the work, I also uncontrollabley exclaimed, “God, I wish there was some actual dick in these pictures instead of the artfully covered fashion bullshit.” But for reals, the art is nothing I’d rave about but also not anything I feel the need to rail against.

But what I really need to talk about here was what a strange scene this opening was. Read More!

This very well may be the best item ever posted to eBay.This is basically the most treasured item owned by Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. It’s a phone that looks like a skinned hermaphrodite. Also, it actually works and is not just purely scultpural. Sweet zombie Jesus.

It rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the phone again!

[via Hang Fire Books]

So I still check my MySpace. Yes. I know Facebook is superior. But I still check my personal MySpace about about two to three times a week. Because I am an internet addict who blogs.

Normally I immediately reject any friend requests from bands who I do not know. Recently, however, I made an expception to the rule because this one band had such a sweet picture. I took a second, listened to their music, and was blown away. As I’ve expressed before, I am a sucker for lo-fi sound. Also a sucker for  lo-fi electronic music. And these guys sucked me in with their charm and grace and amazing style, and as I can’t seem to find anyone who’s blogged about them, I had to do it here.

Gentlemen, please meet The Hmmm.

The Hmmm are two dudes, Hayden and Jacob, who claim to be husbands. They  out in L.A. who have totally fresh style and do a totally post electro-clash version of lo-fi indie electro. Also, I have mad internet crush on both these boys. They’re way cute, which always makes music sound better, right? I sure hope they’re swingers, because I would love to get in between that.

Reasons why they are the most crush-able lesser known indie act online after the jump. Read More!

My boyfriends are always shooting at me. I figured I might get a bullet proof vest, but I think there’s a much more fashionable option here. This fine woman has found it, as Fox 4 News reported. She put a lot of money into that weave!

[thanks to Marlon for the tip.]