Guys. This blog has been having problems. First “She’s a Talker” gets taken offline, then Christopher Walken is ousted from Twitter for being a fake account. Why can’t we all share in the communal online discussion that is the internet? I hate that the digital world is so fragile sometimes.

But are you ready to get your mind blown? Let’s hope this next video doesn’t disappear from the wild world wide web.

Witness 1982’s “I am an Animal” by JaJaJa. Julie Taymor wishes she was this awesome, but compared to the innovation in this video, she’s just an overpaid hack. I mean, their outfits even give Grace Jones a run for her money.

From what I gathered, these lunatics released a self titled LP, and a single called “Katz Ra,” and a 12″ that was also self titled. And nothing else. I believe this video is from a VHS tape released by their first label, Ata Tak records. Then they flew away to a beautiful no-wave dance hall in the sky (I have a feeling it looked like Koalawalla Land), because they seriously just seem to dissapear and there’s almost no information about them online.

Not to get suddenly dark, but fingers crossed that they didn’t disappear due to the AIDS epidemic, as is the case with so many of the great cultural producers during that time. I’m hoping that they just realized that they couldn’t top their VHS work. Any information any of you readers have is much appreciated.

Did you know that the URL chokerz4men.com exists? My friend Gabe just pointed it out. I thought it would be this:

But it’s actually this:

If Bang Bang was still a store in Chelsea, they’d  totally stock this shit. There’s even a grouping of styles called “Elegance.” I can think of nothing more elegant than a the adult equivalent of a charm bracelet. It’s perfect for a night out on the town, to say… Buddakan or Arena when you come in on the weekends to Penn Station on the LIRR.

These chokers will also go great with that thong that has a platinum clasp in the back which spells out S-E-X-Y above your butt that you ordered from International Male in 1998. Wish that style wasn’t discontinued. I need it one for Fire Island this summer.

Have you guys seen this site ChristWire? It’s pretty wacky. Not sure if it’s an MFA student’s thesis on exploring extreme Christian communities online (meant to be read ironically by the more educated classes) or actually written by real people who believe what they write. A little sad that we live in an age when stupid people might be able to customize their own blog installs. Kind of wish extreme Christians would just stick to their Geocities On a Hill.

Anyways, They just published this story two days ago:

Gay Son Rebels By Drawing Penis on Parents Roof
March 25, 2009, posted by Tyson Bowers III

Here is a prime example of home homosexuals have no respect for anything that isn’t sugar plummed with anal sin.

A young boy decided to paint a penis on his families home to show his support and love for other men. I want to know why this young man felt the need to violate his parent’s property with such sin and vulgarity. Did he feel like if he embarrassed his family that they would except his choice to be a twiddle rompus worshiper?

I wish stoning was still legal, because I would love it if his parents tied his anus loving mouth to a stake and throw stones at his sin filled body until he stopped breathing. Then he could join Satan in hell!

To all that find this photo funny, I tell you this. One day it’s large twinkies drawn on top of a families house and then the next it will be photos of gay men raping young children on billboards if you keep accepting this form of propaganda.

Yes. Clearly, no straight frat boy has ever drawn a penis on anything, not his drunk friend’s  face, a bathroom stall, anywhere. Heterosexual frat boys never subscribe to immature penis humor. It is only the gays. And we draw these penises to show people how much we love them and to indoctrinate young minds. That is the ONLY reading of a prank of this magnitude. This is because all drawings of penises are “sugar plummed with anal sin,” and the sugar plum sin faeries dance in my “twiddle rompus worshiper” dreams at night. My “anus loving mouth” can’t wait to spread this “propoganda” everywhere!!1!!1!

Tyson Bowers III, I think you should know better than to think that any parents would ever stone their child to death, and know enough to know what a horrible person you are for even suggesting that. You are a hateful Christian. With your current beliefs there’s a nice spot reserved for you in the outer ring of Circle 7 with the Minotaur, the part reserved for those who are violent to their neighbors. Dante’s Inferno! Get it? That’s YOU drowning in the boiling hot river of blood and getting stabbed by centaurs! That joke’s about as good as yours about stoning still being legal (because it never was legal in the US, stupid jerk).

It looks like Google Ads is having a nice laugh in the face of Tyson’s hate filled intentions:

In all reality though, I should thank you for introducing new creative word combinations that describe faggotry into my vocabulary.

I love Zelda Rubenstein. She’s probably one of my favorite character actresses in Hollywood. Until last week, I was under the impression that she had died recently, shortly after her cameo in the totally underrated Southland Tales, a movie with perhaps the strangest cast ever. But I was wrong! She had only fallen and hurt herself and is currently in a wheelchair. The woman is 75, alive, and kickin’! Ever since I found this out, I’ve been kind of obsessed with keeping tabs on her activity. I’m really concerned about her health and want her to make some more movies where she summons ghosts and is generally supernatural and creepy.

On top of being a talented, dare I say iconic, character actress, did you know the lady can cook? Here’s a video of her at a benefit cooking her ABC (apple banana curry).

Eat! Cross over, children! All are welcome! All are welcome!

In all truth though… apple banana curry sounds kind of nasty. Whatever, I’ll eat anything Zelda cooks for me.

So I was super excited to post this when I saw it yesterday thinking I had found a diamond in the rough and then I realized that it just went viral today. I should have followed my instincts and just posted.

So maybe this isn’t as exciting and you all have already seen it. It’s still one of my favorite pieces of video art I’ve seen to date. Enter Neil Goldberg’s “She’s a Talker,” a short video which hits on the sublime by examining gay men’s relationships with their cats first created for the MIX festival in 1993 at The Kitchen.

In an interview in 1997 for the excellent local PBS program Reel New York (disclosure: I have worked on the past two seasons and it is probably my favorite program we show on Thirteen), Neil Goldberg  explained that the motivation for creating the piece was personal.

The idea came out of a free-association moment where I found myself combing my roommate’s cat and said out loud, “She’s a talker,” and I thought, “Oh God, gay men across the city are probably all doing the same thing.” It was kind of a poignant moment, you know, you’re single and you have a cat, and you can feel a kind of fraught moment of endearing affection, or something. So, it was based on that little epiphany that I decided to set out on the project and I kind of defended the scope of it.

The full interview is here and definitely worth a read when you have time.

Mostly this got me wondering: Are cat gays a phenomenon as popular within our subculture as cat ladies are in staight culture? We already know that there is actual scientific merit that cat ladies are more likely to be crazy, thanks to the New York Times article. So does this mean that there are a bunch of crazy cat gays running around? I was bored last night and looking up information on various porn stars (I do these things, ok?) and ran across an email interview with muscle man Dillon Press who says, “I love the moviemaking and appearances and photo shoots, but only because I know I can go home and just be me. I’m a quiet kind of guy. A nap with my cat puts everything into perspective.”

Am I totally out of the loop here? Have the cat gays been part of the gay zeitgeist all along and I was just blind to it? Are single gay men turning to cats the same way single women do all this time and I just never noticed? Are men all over the world doing this?

Warning: dork-out session ahead. Fellow bloggers and nyerds and Christopher Walken fans, this is for more for you. For the rest of you… please just consider this a tiny lesson in using social media wisely.

Remember how micro-blogging sites, specifically Twitter which limits messages to 140 characters, are always coming under fire for ruining the ways we communicate? Well, we have found our savior to lead us out of this darkness and his name is Christopher Walken. His Twitter account brings the medium to new heights and into the light. Some of the best are posted below, but you can always go to his account and check it out yourself.

You might be wondering, “Christopher Walken? Isn’t he someone that frat bros are fans of when they want to show they have an edgy side to their personalities? Why is he a genius? Why don’t you follow someone with legit alternative cool cred like David Lynch? I bet his twitters will blow your mind.” (I know. You are not wondering any of these things.) Read More!

Science, guys! Real science! We now know that Christianisty is not a choice.

My favorite part is that the science team is called “Pink Tiger”

This is actually really serious, so I’m going to take a break from humor for a second to alert you all to a serious need in the community. A queer landmark is in danger and needs your help. Learn about the S.S. Gay on the Gowanus Canal in the video below.

These sort of landmarks are essential to bridging an understanding with the greater community in New York of more radical identity politics and queer issues and we need to preserve them. While in my opinion the city should be funding this, spaces for radical queer politics just don’t tend to get much support from the Government, even if they might merit historical landmark status, at least in my opinion. Not to mention that the boat looks pretty rad. They’ve really fixed it up. Let’s not lose this. These men and women need your help. This is the S.S. Gay and it wants to recruit you!

There’s a benefit on March 28th at 78 Lafayette. Please attend. It’s a sliding scale donation of anywhere from 5-20 bucks so I am sure all of you can do this. Learn more on the web site to Save The Gay.

So I just moved. It was stressful. But it’s a new era and now I have a place of my own to furnish. However, I am a little worried. I have a feeling I am being haunted by the ghost of three tabby cats. Most likely I am just adjusting to sleeping in a new place. But I prefer to think the former and that kitty ghosts are being bothersome. I told my good friend Amy the story.

Amy:  are you doing anything tonight or just packy packy
unpacky rather
me:  i think just unpacky
btw, having a window
Amy:  RULES RIGHT?
me:  amazing
yeah
Amy:  totes window
me:  i feel so much better in the morning
it’s already making a huge difference for me
Amy:  like, waking up with sunlight
amazay
me:  yeah
oh, did I tell you?
Amy:  i’m glad you love the place!
me:  I think I am being haunted by the spirits of kitties
like, 3 of them
tabbies
no joke
I had the weirdest nightmares about cats jumping on my bed and woke up and was CONVINCED there were three kitties in my place
Amy:  WHAT
me:  and it took me like, 10 minutes to realize that it was a dream
Amy:  haha even your spirit animals are weird
me: of course like, tabbies that paw at a comforter
is what haunts me
Amy: MREAOWWWW (demon cat)
me:  it’s so funny
like, they weren’t even attacking me in the dream
and I was like “how did these cats get in here”
Amy:  like, the most boring horror movie ever
no…the ghosts arsen’t attacking me
they are just kind of bothersome
oh and they are cats
rather than zombies
ZOMBIE CAT

Quick somebody call Zelda Rubenstein!

“This house is clean.”

I think this speaks for itself. This is what happens when you pick up starngers in LA.

[via Everything is Terrible]