No Fatties Corned Beef Dreams

Posted on March 17th, 2008 by Colin

Happy Irish Day everyone. I’m a leprechaun and proud.

In honor of my people, I spent the whole weekend drinking and eating corned beef, cabbage, and soda bread. My mother sent me a loaf of her Irish Heritage Foundation approved soda bread, she won first place. But she’s Polish.

Here’s the problem with suddenly plunging my body into a world of braised brisket full of gelatin fat and beer. It leads to really weird dreams. Last night I literally dreamed that junkie serial killers lived next door to me and were leaving comments on my blog that made my site break because the comments had really weird html formatting. Like glitter graphics combined with blockquote tags and a LOLcatz graphics. Things no human being should do on the internet.

After the jump check out my super secret family recipe for corned beef and cabbage.

This is basically the easiest thing you’ve ever made. Trust me. Just set aside a whole day to sit and play Wii or watch TV or do something actually productive with your brain like read.

First, go to the butcher and get a corned beef brisket. It will come with pickling spices, so no need to get those. Here’s the full ingrediant list:

1 Corned Beef Brisket
1 packet pickling spice
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
Tabasco
Worcestershire Sauce
Spicy Mustard
Molasses
Salt
1 head generic cabbage (you know the kind I mean)

Boil a large pot of water. Drop in the pickling spice. I like to add a generous helping of red pepper flakes to give it some heat. Boil the brisket for 45 minutes. Remove the brisket from the water and save the water.

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees. Combine the mustard, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, and molasses to taste to create a thick glaze.I generally do around 3/4 cup mustard, 1 heaping tablespoon molasses, 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce, and 1 tablespoon Tabasco. Put the brisket in a baking pan, fat side up, and score the fat. The cover the whole thing in the glaze. The glaze tastes kind of gross by itself but will taste awesome later.

Cover the pan in tin foil and pop it in the oven. Let it sit there for 2.5 - 3 hours.

Then uncover it and let the glaze harden for the next hour in the oven. While this is going on, chop the cabbage, re-boil the brisket-water, and boil the cabbage for about five minutes. Then take it out and cut it up. Remember to slice against the grain. Just like how you live your life against the grain. You bad ass. Serve the whole thing together family style.

And remember, briskets are not sausages. At some point on Saturday I said, “It’s not like they’re not sausages” while explaining corned beef prep to a very vegetarian friend of mine this weekend. I don’t know what that means, I don’t always make sense. But it could be profound. Think about it.

Then enjoy your meat, and the subsequent nightmares.

Leprechaun Brisket Nightmare

2 Responses to “Corned Beef Dreams”

  1. kevin Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    Remember that the precious potatoes and carrots also get a boil in the brisket broth, of course for much longer than the cabbage,

    [reply this comment]

  2. Fist Patrick Says:
    March 20th, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    Update: Follow up on Gabe Liedman’s blog here:

    LINK TO GABE AND I CHATTING

    [reply this comment]

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