My good friend Tim Hull sent the greatest news clip my way today. It seems that our recession is pulling New York City back into the eighties and early nineties, back when the West Village was a place for crime, vogue-ing, drag divas, and the fiercest transsexuals, a la Paris is Burning. Can you feel this realness? [via WPIX local news]

Tranny Teens Terrorizing Downtown Girls

WEST VILLAGE (WPIX) — Police say a roving pack of transvestite teens has been targeting females living in a tony West Village building. According to authorities, the trannys would steal the women’s purses and use their stolen credit cards to buy wigs and new clothes.

Two of the teens, Jubril “Dominic” Faggins, 19, and Jhirad “Shanese” Powell, 18 have both been charged with attacking two women at The Archive on Greenwich Street, former home to designer Michael Kors, actress Jennifer Connelly and infamous White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

The first attack happened on the morning of January 29. According to the New York Post Powell told cops, “It was Destiny (another transvestite) that told me to rob the white bitch.”

Court papers say Faggins and Powell followed the woman into the lobby, held her down, punched her and then stole her purse. The two attackers then went on a two-day shopping spree in Brooklyn’s Fulton Mall, charging more than $3500 worth of women’s clothes, jewelry and accessories on her stolen credit card.

Days later, on February 2, the duo returned to the building and attacked another woman.

I’d like to point out that they went to the Fulton Mall. Not SoHo, not Barney’s, not 5th Ave, not Union Square. They went to the Fulton Mall. I hope they did some business at Danice.That store is fierce — great styles at a great price. Werk! I love their choice of apartment building to target as well. You know a place is fabulous when Monica Lewinsky lives there.

However, I’m not sure how GLAAD is going to feel about the use of “tranny” here. I’m pretty sure that’s blatantly defamatory language. Shame on you, WPIX.

Have a good weekend y’all — I gotta go rob some white bitches. I need a new weave.

5 Responses to “Recession Realness”

1. JJS III Says:
   March 8th, 2009 at 8:31 am

   I swear I just saw some show or read something where a trans individual was like, “We ain’t hurtin’ no one! It’s not like we’re walking around and robbing people.”

   Either that or I basically am psychic, because that say I REALLY wanted to write a screenplay about transsexual robbers.

   [reply this comment]

   Colin reply on March 9, 2009:

   basically you are psychic. For sure.

   JJS III reply on March 9, 2009:

   I really must have been on drugs when I left that last comment. Where the hell did the “that say” come from in the last half of that sentence? Drugs. That’s where.

2. Josh Says:
   March 9th, 2009 at 12:46 pm

   I’ve been walking on sunshine since I first heard this story a few days ago. I was subjected to an election party full of Republicans in The Archive Building. I hate it there.

   God, I love gay crime! John waters said it best, “crime is beauty!”

   [reply this comment]

3. J Says:
   March 9th, 2009 at 12:51 pm

   Faggins? Seriously?

   [reply this comment]

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