U know how sassy bitches be all up at the club, fu-haggin’ out and gettin’ down with e’rrybody just because of they sparklepower?

Neither do we.  Because we spend our time a) hunting for manscruff, b) drinking beer that tastes like juice, and c) dreaming of finally leaving Park Slope for some place even dykier, like Portland or northeast Alabama.  In fact, the last time we approached a twink was 2001, when, just after coming out, we followed our only gay friend, Matt (who, despite being in his late twenties and of Italian heritage, will forever resemble an underweight Puerto Rican adolescent, thus making him the King of Getting Ass), to Heaven because it was where homosexual males gathered (and glittery, orange freshmen piled into the *c*L*u*B* tighter than a nun’s vaginerr).  Needless to say, it was a disaster, although it took about another nine months before we realized that we should probably avoid places that gave us panic attacks and made us want to hang ourselves from a mirrorball while Willa Ford hissed in the background.

So, naturally, we totally feel the hetero fellas at Titsburg, whose ideas about fairies with magical powers (and a vat of Boy Butter, probs) isn’t that far from the truth.

And, for the record, we’d totally make out with the “bear.”

Titsburg: “sassy gay” from Chioke Nassor on Vimeo.

[Titsburg]

2 Responses to “Fear the Twink”

1. Shout Outs! « blog! Says:
   May 30th, 2009 at 8:50 am

   [...] before we cried ourselves to sleep we googled Titsburg a bunch more and read a really nice article on Sassy Gay by the Gay Men’s Social Crisis that made us smile. Still torn over which one of us is the [...]

2. Andy Blumes Says:
   January 21st, 2010 at 9:37 pm

   I want to come out even more every day.
   I am afraid of what others might say.
   I am Andy Blume, at Spatula City, I really need someone to help me through this time in my life. I want to have another gay lover, but I am afraid of societies rule.

   Please just some advice, thanks, or maybe a good time!

   [reply this comment]

Say Something