There are few things I will miss about 2008. 2008 was like a weird year that just extended 2007 for twice the time. It’s almost like 2008 didn’t happen. Looking forward to 2009 when we all get to realize change.gov that matters.

But there is one thing I will miss. And that thing is Sparks. Sparks Light (in the blue can) to be specific. Like this one time? We made a weird music video with me and my friends to the song “Careless Whisper”? And we made a Sparks keg by pouring a ton of it into a ice tea container? And all got disgusted because the foam that came off the container was solid and wouldn’t dissolve, much like sea foam on the beach. That was when I learned to only drink the stuff out of a can. And now, as most of you have heard, the Attorney General has declared that we can no longer imbibe of this holy water for hipsters.

[img via Hipster Runnoff]

Now no one has memorialized Spark quite like artist Nathan Danilowicz, with his Sparks Christ, Baby Sparks Christ, Sparks Teeth, and other Sparks based projects, but I will do my best. So now, a poem:

Sparks, like a light in the dark
You keep me up all night
Like the song of the lark

I drink you in the early evening
So awake
Ready to go to a bar
And be irresponsible

You are orange
Like a tabby cat
Or a street sign that flashes “Stop”
Hope my insides turn that color

Whoops
Someone is in my bed
Condom lies on floor
Good job, Sparks
Tastes like success

How can I live without?
I can haz Sparks? I can’t haz. Fail.

When I am at the pearly gates
I will ask St. Peter for one last Sparks
And find you there
A can with wings and a halo
Red Bull can suck it

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