Posted on July 21st, 2008 by Vagenius
Speaking of Margaret Cho, the loudmouthed lady comedian is about to reinvent her career with a reality show. But unlike “D-List” success story Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho was never even a little funny.
I’ve already gone on at length about why I think Kathy Griffin is essentially awful. She treats her gay male fans like pets, glorifying them in a manner that comes off as gentle fun-poking, when in reality is merely a marketing tool (that has, needless to say, worked like a charm).
And yet, I somehow find Margaret Cho more offensive, and not just because - again - her “dirty, edgy” humor makes Carlos Mencia look like George Carlin (hush yo’ mouth!). It’s bad enough when a comedian’s home run is dependent upon race relations, but Margaret Cho quickly traded the “My mom is crazy!” bit for something significantly ickier: the self-positioned “outsider” stance.
Although she’s now slender and married to a dude, Margaret Cho was - at one point - chubby and “bisexual” [and Korean - IMAGINE THAT!]. She swiftly adopted the “oddball” status that has since been mainstreamed by Pete Wentz and his army of Emo kids in eyeliner and skinny jeans. By doing so, she went totally LGBT-friendly, calling herself “queer,” fondling a vagina or two, and taking up burlesque (the unofficial hazing ritual for any overweight lady who even thinks about going lez). Thus, Cho acquired a gay fan-base. Are homos really that easily manipulated into disguised consumerism? (Answer: Yes. Yes they are.)
And that, readers, is likely how she got to write an idiotic (and dare I say “destructive”) piece in this month’s Advocate titled “Dick O’Clock.”
Most fag hags agree that the best times they’ve ever had were at gay bars, sharing precious moments with their fags, drinking lovely pink cocktails and dancing and laughing the night away.
Until it becomes “dick o’clock.” You know what time that is, don’t you? It is when all the gay men in the club simultaneously start looking for dick.
Margaret Cho, you see, is a dear, dear friend to gay guys. She can say “fag” and it’s okay. She’s in the club, you see? She, herself, is a self-appointed “fag hag” because - that’s right - she knows the terminology [bitches]!
According to Cho, gay guys:
- love Britney Spears
- enjoy weed, coke, and/or pill-popping
- are hornballs constantly at the ready to snatch up the first wiener we spot that doesn’t require mustard
- go out all the time, especially weeknights (because, let’s face it, “weekends are for straight people,” excluding Margaret Cho and her husband whom she married under the jurisdiction of the American legal system)
But we are fag hags, and we will love you even if you have big, dark dick circles under your eyes because you left us to get dick the night before and didn’t get any sleep, because we are awesome like that.
I don’t know what gay guys Margaret Cho hangs out with, but from this piece alone, I imagine she spends a lot of time toking up with twinks in body glitter and belly shirts, having just parked the time machine that transported them here from 1999. To these guys - you know, Margaret’s “fags” - it’s all about Brit-Brit, endless bathroom trips, and stuffing every possible orifice with cock.
As if it wasn’t bad enough, The Cho Show is set to debut next month on VH1. But if Margaret gets her way, season two will be nestled into rival network Bravo’s wildly popular programming block, sandwiched nicely between Lesbians Making Spaghetti and Which Gay Guy Cuts Gay Hair The Gayest?
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July 21st, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Her husband is not going to be in the reality show because “he’s not a performer,” she said in a recent article. Well, don’t tell him that. Here’s his website www.artofbleeding.com. I think she just wants to continue the ruse that she’s gay or bi because that’s where her money comes from.
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July 25th, 2008 at 7:23 am
wow nice post! the time machine part was the best. but you’re so right, I physically cringe every time someone says “the gays,” especially a straight woman who should be able to qualify her own friends by more than an offensive and stereotyped moniker.
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