Alternately, he could be into being shaved (the white lines). If this is the case, I think it’s time to send someone in undercover. Here’s what I suggest:
First, dress said undercover GMSC agent in Prada, douse him in Lacoste cologne, give him a fauxhawk, and print out a fake memoir (with a very hip, Chuck Klosterman-esque cover) to carry around, and set him loose in Metropolis. And wait. Eventually, one of the Joshes will snap him up. After a couple of months of earning his trust, Josh will eventually reveal his interest in being shaved. And that’s he finally makes his move. The evening begins innocently enough — with a jaunt to Kim’s to rent Un Chien Andalou (as foreshadowing) and a stop at Meet The Johnsons for a drink. It ends wonderfully, beautifully, gloriously with our noble agent holding a rusty straight raiser, covered in a Josh’s blood and the words, “Oops, I slipped.”

Any volunteers?

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