Posted on March 4th, 2008 by Colin
I learned about this from a young, female editor for The Onion who performed at Ritalin Readings last night named Megan Ganz. Thank you for introducing me to this inspiring product.
It’s called a Pussyfoot. Seriously. I’m not joking. There’s a vagina on the foot so they called it a Pussyfoot. Someone came up with this. lhfljshgjsldfhgj. That was the sound of me dying.
And now a short piece of fiction about gay foot fetishists:
Sure, he had been with some guys who would indulge his fetish. They would slowly take off their sweaty socks and rub their feet for him and put their feet in his face. There was even one occasion where a guy had been willing to foot him, an act similar to fisting but using the body part he truly desired, the foot.
He first discovered he loved feet at a young age. It happened while playing soccer once. One of the other 14 year olds kicked him in the butt. He had just entered puberty and was unfamiliar with the stirring in his groin this foot to ass stimulation provided him. After the game he had crawled under a bench in the locker room and watched the guys walk around on the cold concrete floors barefoot.
He wouldn’t know until he was 30 that this was a fetish — that he couldn’t love someone any other way. A person was a foot and the foot was the object of his true affection, something he couldn’t help but feel guilty about. The only other person he loved was his cat, Casper, and guilt had driven him to obsession with the kitty. Until recently, he worried about becoming an old, lonely spinster of a man, but then he had found a true love via a mail order catalog.
He had awaited it’s arrival with baited breath and sweaty palms. The soft ankles. The hangnail on the pinkie. The callus on the heel. For that alone, it was the sort of things he had wet dreams about. This foot had something the other feet didn’t though. A penis. He had finally found his love in Dickfoot.
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March 6th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
WTF, is this supposed to be about me? I don’t even like feet! And you leave Casper out of this! And I’m not a spinster I totally have like a gay husband or something that with whom I fight a lot in public! Leave Casper out of this!!!
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