Posted on January 25th, 2008 by Vagenius
I’ve always had a problem going out. Despite my being positive that most, like me, wouldn’t dare approach others at a party or bar (or in a public setting, for that matter), I think I’ve been proven wrong. Usually aided with loads more alcohol than I consume, gay guys at the few bars I frequent seem to have little to no trouble making light conversation with others. I, on the other hand, am so self-conscious, so ready to edit my words and actions at a moment’s notice, that the idea of making small talk with a dude (sober or not) is so clearly an unnatural, put-upon facade meant to get one’s number [or tushy], I can’t fathom that either parties would tolerate such silliness.
Apparently, I’m wrong.
I’ll admit that I have a somewhat poor self-image, not likely helped by my unshakable Jewwy neuroses and inner elderly Black lesbian (for real). That said, I’ve been called cute on numerous occasions, most people like me, and I make an excellent boyfriend. So why can’t I merely gather the ballz to approach cute dudes on the subway or in a bar?
Please offer your suggestions in the comments.
Note: I’ve already tried doing this, but apparently I wasn’t as pretty as the lady in the video:
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January 25th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I can thank this video for nearly humiliating me while I was trying to publish your entry from work. Public Television would not approve.
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January 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Well the video is me! I don’t go out often and almost always hide in the corner. There is something about being in the privacy of my own bedroom that allows me to be the free confident person that I am, but in “real” life this would totally never happen. I much prefer the “cute” boys who make excellent boyfriends than anything else. Talk to us, don’t censor and we don’t bite. From my experience I am just as nervous and scared as you are.
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January 30th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Well, if your goal is to chat guys up for a date, I ‘d suggest it depends on the bars (or subways). I never had any luck at places that were super clubby (since talking is of middling importance). But places like metropolitan are intimidating because it’s so damn cliquey. You can’t really approach anyone because you have approach them and their five other friends.
My advice, I guess, is to approach guys you’re not in to. Part of the trouble is being really concerned because you want the person to like you and offer up the tushy. Have a drink or two and start chatting up people who you aren’t really attracted to. This way you can get better starting a conversation out of the blue. You may end up having to bail on them impolitely if they think you want to get it on, but it’s not like talking to someone means you have to hook up (and they might have a cute friend, who knows). That might be the oddest advice I’ve ever given.
dc
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January 30th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
the moves around 1:52 made me want to cry a little. not in a good way.
(i can’t believe i just admitted i watched until 1:52.)
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February 1st, 2008 at 10:40 am
why is that muppet short-circuiting?
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benzo reply on February 4, 2008:
also, i think that shaking ass has put me into a trance of some kind — I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY MIND!
February 4th, 2008 at 7:53 am
[…] My condemnation of embarrassing gay dating websites is in no way a condemnation of my fellow writer’s desire to get a date.
February 5th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I’m frightened. What do you even search to find a video like that?
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February 6th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
alright, if people are gonna be mean just take the video down.
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