Get ready for me to geek out. Probably two people who have ever read this blog will find this interesting. As a result, almost all of this is behind the jump.

So I work for an undisclosed company on undisclosed web projects. Point is, I saw a proposal from an anonymous corporate communications company today that made me vomit into a bag when I left my cubicle. I’ve included a redacted excerpt below, which is probably just the poorly written template some poor guy is stuck using.

A minisite should be developed that features the series to best advantage.
•    It should be fun for consumers and suitable for media use – right now, the line between these groups is blurred and the same features that appeal to web surfers will appeal to members of the media.
•    The site should impart information clearly, but in a way which mirrors the tone and humor of the series.
•    The minisite should feature written pieces, attention-grabbing design elements and graphics, quotes from interviewees, and downloadable photographs and clips of interviewees as much as possible.
•    Using original elements will save the time and money required to secure rights for archival material.
•    While those materials will feature comedians from seminal films and television’s golden age, nostalgia should not be overplayed.  To appeal to the broadest possible age range, we should make use of images and clips of [redacted] who are current [redacted].
•    Audience interest will be most keen for this [redacted] and we believe this will significantly drive tune in among younger groups without alienating core [redacted] audiences
•    We will need to work to secure the rights to use this material and these [redacted] images for promotional purposes.

Wow. Way to school me on how to be relevant online, guys. I didn’t know “same features that appeal to web surfers will appeal to members of the media.” I didn’t even know anyone used the term “web surfers” anymore. This whole thing reeks of a corporate template that is now totally outdated, even when talking about the low cost model of original web content. What might surprise these folks is that content producers want to be paid, and often they want (gasp) competitive rates. There must have been a recent paradigm shift backwards in time and I missed it.

If you work in the media, please help me in stopping web ignorance.

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