Have you been watching the Winter Olympics? Johnny Weir was SO robbed right? He at least deserved bronze. And was there anything more beautiful than last night’s Canadian Ice Dancing team’s winning final performance. And they are both so cute!!!

I’m one of the rare people who is actually more into the Winter Olympics than the Summer Olympics. I mean come on. Figure Skating! Ice Dancing! Ski Jumps! Ski Cross! Snowboard Cross! There’s just so many weird sports.

This year I discovered a new weird sport to love. I legitimately am really into curling. I find it to be an exciting game of strategy. It’s a lot like watching a great game of pool at the bar, but more absurd, on ice, and utilizing actual giant stones. Also, what are their shoes? Because they don’t wear skates but they glide so gracefully.

And have you noticed? Strategies between women’s and men’s curling are super gendered! The women are super passive aggressive, putting one stone in the house (or, my preferred spelling, “the hoose”)  and then guarding the shit out of it. The men are more outwardly aggressive, knocking opponents stones or  just clearing the board when it stops going their way. It really makes me want to watch a co-ed game.

And more importantly, the game seems to be filled with secret crush worthy guys. Really, who had any idea that there were so many totally handsome men who were into curling?

For your viewing please, here’s a list of some of the most attractive men in curling I could find online. And of course I drew all over their pictures like a middle school girl in luuuuv!!!

[Look, I'm not even sure what some of my so-called innuendos I drew below are even supposed to mean. I just write this shit, ok?]

John Morris of Canada:

Thomas Ulsrud of Norway:

The dreamy stoner looking dude, Jason Smith, of the USA:

Jan Henri Ducroz of France:

The twinkalicious Oskar Erickson of Sweden:

The striking Raphael Mathieu of France:

And the very handsome and very fashionable (via the pants) Haavard Vad Petersson:

<3 these kewties <3

So the new season of Gossip Girl has been on for two weeks. People are saying the show has really gone downhill. You know what? I kinda agree. But I also don’t care. Because really, Gossip Girl is one of the only shows on television trying to really show how pervasive new media is in the way people socialize today. So yes, the show is ridiculous, but who the hell cares? Besides, I have a crush on the dreamy alterna-nerd Penn Badgely who plays Dan.

Anyways, what do you all think about this GG in college business? I mean, I think it offers a lot of opportunities for binge drinking, drug use, sexual escapades, drunk texting, sexting, and all the other great mistakes people make, but I am wondering if the show will really “go there.” I mean, I feel like they need to stop making it so “social rivalry” and make it a little bit more like Brandi and Monica’s “The Boy Is Mine.” You listening GG producers? Romantic rivalry always will play out more realistically once people are college aged.

However, I do hear in one aspect the show will go there. There’s gonna be a gay kiss and it’s gonna be with Chuck Bass.

So while I am not part of this crowd, most people have celebrity crushes on Nate Archibald and Chuck Bass, played respectively by Chase Crawford and Ed Westwick. Remember when the tabloids thought they might be gay together in real life? That was so silly! But inspired by the stories, some genius made a mash-up of Chuck and Nate clips set to a Magnetic Fields song. You can probably guess track they used.

Damn right it’s about time you tap that ass!

What the hell is up with this show on the Oxygen network, Addicted to Beauty? The posters in the subways these days are nearly an act of terrorism. Because while I hardly even understand what the show is about, when I see this image:

All I see is this:

Which reminds me of a little story. About 6 years ago I dated a pattern maker who was just starting at Heatherette. He was a really sweet guy, I have nothing bad to say about him, and while he has since gone the way of party promoting, fashion gay, and I a very different route, I remember a little anecdote he told me.

Apparently Sophia Lamar, Amanda Lepore, and Jocelyn Wildenstein get t0gether once a week for brunch at B Bar. We used to fantasize about getting an invite to this exclusive brunch – I can’t imagine it would be anything short of amazing. With this as my inspiration, I wrote this compelling pitch to the producers at Oxygen.

Dear Producers at Oxygen,

Plz c0nsidr my reality sh0w Queer Plastic Surgery Brunch. It will be way better than Addicted to Beauty. Way m0re Laffs and Lolz. Cheaper to make t00.

Your BFF -

Colin

So Neil Patrick Harris appeared on The Early Show, and the interview was kind of an embarrassing train wreck for everyone BUT him.

[via Videogum. PS Linday is recently becoming my favorite blogger for her pro-feminism commentary delivered without snark]

I might just be being REALLY self righteous and touch here, but I’m pretty offended.  The entire tokenizing in a weird unspoken way. Like, they never say he’s gay but so much of their banter is predicated on certain gay stereotypes? For example, the way she starts telling him to rock his flamboyant Cabaret outfit for the Tony’s and in public? What? The subext: “OMG, NPH, it would be a great idea for you to be as flamboyant as possible in the way you represent yourself outside of a role because YOU ARE GAY and we want you to be our funny gay friend!!!”

Also, If he was straight no one would ever put a girl’s hairdo on him and assume he’ll identify Kate from John and Kate Plus 8 (a show I have never watched) as some sort of camp icon.They might have well said “Hey girlfriend, you wanna do Queen Helene Mint Julep Masks later and talk about men? I need tips about how I can have more comfortable anal sex? How do you guys do it!!!???!! Then we can get some Hagen Daaz and watch Extreme Home Makeover.”

The good thing to come out of this? NPH was totally articulate and attractive through the whole thing. I have a renewed crush on him for being such an elegant, non-hater.

(Full disclosure: I actually think mud masks, anal sex conversations and bad TV sounds like an awesome night and fun activity.)

So I know you all have been really emo over Susan Boyle as of late. Yes, her performance was great. Yes, she’s a 47 year old virgin. And yes, some sleazy company in Cali has given her a million dollar porn deal (which is totally the grossest thing I can imagine). But what I need to know, why these guys over in Sweden’s version of the show aren’t getting noticed in all the _______ Has Talent hype these days.

Dear Knäckebröddansen -

You have proven true talent. You are more than just naked boys singing. May you rise out of Susan Boyle’s shadow and claim your own right in internet viral video history and find immortality in the realm of online memes.

Your true fan -

Al Gore
Creator of the Internet

Hi.  Vagenius here, GMSC co-founder and the site’s resident former “Internally Homophobic Vigilante,” as my therapist once put it.  Now, while in the past I’ve used this site to essentially slam gay men for demonstrating endless hypocrisy and self-defeating, inadvertently retrogressive behavior, that doesn’t mean I hate all gay men.  Because I don’t.  Nor do I hate myself, and nor do I wish I weren’t gay.  ‘Cuz, hey, I’m fine (not “fawww-ine,” but, y’know…fine).  (Well, maybe fawww-ine, too, depending on whether or not I’ve shaved.)

You know what’s not fine, though?  When gay elves with your Mom’s haircut are given the chance to flaunt their self-important “issues” (at the cost of one tragically overweight gaychaser’s dignity).  Even less fine?  That such an opportunity is provided by the Original Mess herself, Ms. Tyra Banks, whose talk show has either replaced Jenny Jones’s as the most retarded ever, or this is just what happens when something isn’t hosted by Oprah (I wouldn’t know, because I only watch Oprah when the episode description guarantees that the show will be OFF THE WALL BONKERS).

Despite his lilting, Hills-inspired falsetto and the vest he stole from a baby tuxedo, openly gay 19-year-old Shane considers homosexual men weaker than heterosexuals men.  According to Shane, people with penises are “supposed to be Alpha” (which Tyra brilliant describes by impersonating Tim Allen’s entire stand-up routine). “The majority of gay guys are effeminate,” he says, before adding that “if they want to be girls, they should get a sex change or sometheeeng???”

Uh, Shane?  Before you suggest reconstructive surgery to the limp-wristed, you might want to shave that putrid pussy off of your chin.  I, too, once had a goatee (in high school), but I also thought I was a “nu jazz” musician at the time named Soul Patch.  So at least I had an excuse.  You’re just awful, and that’s only made clearer by the pubes growing down your face.

Anyway, yes, the kid’s argument is, indeed, ridiculous.  We can all recognize that. Read More!

This viral video was going around the other day. It’s really something amazing. I can’t believe they made a child actor do this.

A little bit of research revealed that this is an excerpt from a CBS made-for-tv movie called Child of Rage. The IMDB description has one of my new favorite sentances (it’s bolded, that’s not part of the original text).

Rob and Jill Tyler adopt 2 children named Catherine and Eric. Eric is sweet, quiet and shy and Catherine is nice at times but has these terrible violent outbursts for no apparent reason. Catherine sticks the dog with needles until the dog bleeds. She smashes Eric’s head on the basement floor, causing him to go to the emergency room and tries to stab her new adoptive father with a knife while he’s sleeping. Jill and Rob try to find a doctor and they eventually find Dr. Rosemary Myers. She examines Catherine and find out that she was abused by her biological father and wants Catherine to overcome this rage. Dr. Myers, Jill, and Rob preform holding therapy for Catherine and at first it doesn’t seem to work, but Catherine seems to become more at ease as the therapy progresses.

Sometimes I stick dogs with needles, but it’s ok because they don’t bleed because the dogs I stick with needles are taxidermy.

Needless to say, this classic is in the mail and I’m sure to soon host a screening. Also, also if you don’t want to commit to the DVD, this guy put the whole thing on YouTube by filming his television, if that’s something you want to sit through.

So I was laid up most of the weekend in bed trying to get over my cold. Actually most of the evenings last week as well. So sorry if I sent any bizarre emails to anyone, I was really bored and on cough syrup. Besides that the only thing I really accomplished was watching a ton of TV online with my computer, rediscovering my love of a classic teen series The O.C. It’s become enough of an obsession where I’ve started referring to my O.C. time as “Hangin’ with Marissa Cooper” or “Hangin’ with the Coop,” not to be confused with the TGIF hit Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper. (starring Raven Symoné! Love her so much when she rides  a segway.)

And there are plenty of reasons I now love The O.C. and I think everyone should revisit 2005 or whenever this show was highly blogged about. Read More!

Did y’all see Gossip Girl last night? Because it was pretty good. It was basically like the first time I watched Gossip Girl where I was so happy to be slightly scandalized by a tween show that is somehow held together by the narrations of Kirsten Bell who actually just plays the voice of a blog. A blog, people. So funny, this world of new media we live in. Especially when that world involves high schoolers having sex, throwing illicit parties, and tossing tossing around like it’s old lira.

Last night we saw (SPOILERS AHEAD just in case you DVRed this mutha’) a new character introduced who goes from being innocent to being in cahoots with Chuck in the course of the hour. We also saw a step mother/step son affair, which could be categorized as incest. We also saw Vanessa fuck up the complicated machinations of Blair’s revenge, but it’s kind of understandable because she’s too poor to know how these things work. We also were introduced to my new favorite drink, the “Nair-tini,” and saw Serena start to take on a new role as queen bitch. Also dumb lacrosse players. Basically it was everything I watch the show for. I’m not going to do a full re-cap, since other sites do that perfectly well, but my good friend Ben and I twittered the entire thing, and I think our live reactions are a pretty good supplement to any plot recap you might read elsewhere. After the jump, our OMFG moments (yes, I just said that). Read More!

While Colin raps on one certain very-famous-right-now lady (whom I, too, love, but probably because she’s, like, Black Oprah), there is a lady who’s become the equivalent of my dream hag (if, of course, that whole phenomenon didn’t make me want to vomit poop):

Miley Cyrus.

It would be so boring, I know, if I adopted her as an ironic crush in an empty allusion to gay camp.  She’s someone – much like Raven Symone, who went from adorable child actor to a hyperactive trannie-clown whose overacting recalls every WB sitcom ever – who has, of late, boggled my mind.

Like Raven, she’s not really… “pretty,” so there isn’t much of a “princess” factor.  She doesn’t seem especially girly, so the idea of exclusively pink, sparkly, strawberry-scented merchandise goes out the window.  Her origin within the pop cultural landscape fascinates me, too, as she was merely one of an endless number of Disney pawns who found mammoth success.   Incidentally, her father was a former one-hit wonder who is now desperately clinging to her for relevance by playing her dad on Hannah Montana (and, p.s., it’s working).  So it’s just kind of like…what are you? Read More!