So I had a big birthday bash on February 2nd as promised. Kudos, me, for surviving for a quarter of a century.

Thank you all that were there.It looked like a bomb of fun (alcoholism) had exploded in my apartment the next day. Never have I been so proud to have so many good friends. One of my fellow writers on this site has since dubbed me “the mayor of hot dudes with beards city.” I was proud to see all the glasses, beards, and flannel. Between the cases of White Castle you wonderful people provided and the keg of Coors, my house was truly a beautiful den of excess and sleaze.
Know what I was also proud of? My sweet sugar daddies over at The Steeez made me a jacket. It has serious upstate New York hardcore punk style. Check it, oy oy oy!

It has some features to enhance one’s style and ease that I need to show off. But also embarrassing features that can only be illustrated with an embarrassing picture, and I’m totally putting it behind the jump. Because I might just kill myself if that became my new homepage. Read More!

I got an email in my inbox today from a good friend who had copied a bunch of known homosexuals asking the following question:

What are people’s general reactions to the men in this article? to this lifestyle?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/24/garden/24haverland.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

do you feel an automatic urge to tear your face off, or is living a life like this a secret (or not-so secret) ambition?

The article follows the the Galanes-Haverland couple and how expensive things and interior design has drawn them together and made them happy and gay together over the last 12 years.

In my dreams, I am so rich that I hire people like them to design my spaces and then I have a (illegal alien)maid that cleans up after me and helps me bathe so I don’t ever have to be responsible for my own filth. But not everyone is the sort of hedonist I pretend to be. And my buddies had a lot of interesting things to say that are worth sharing.

And now let the feeding frenzy of commentary that can only happen when too many type A personalities are CCed on an email begin! Read More!

It’s time for me to start planning my birthday party, which will be on February 2nd this year at an undisclosed location. Here’s a videoclip from last year’s festivities.

Actually that’s really Tim Curry from 1986’s The Worst Witch. A time when I was still in diapers. You think that’s sexy, right? Whoops, you’re a pedophile!

But seriously, just put my face on Tim Curry’s in that clip, and that was the party last year. I’m working things out myself for the bar and the DJs, but I need food suggestions. Last year was the chocolate fountain. This year…. a fine pickle spread?

You know what movie you didn’t see in theaters (but kind of wish you did) that you’ll now never have to rent from the video store? Georgia Rule. The very talented E Dubs uses her talents to break down the entire plot of the movie in less than a minute.

The Plot of Georgia Rule in less than a minute from Colin on Vimeo.

So I am back in New York. Yay! New Year’s Eve is soon! Drop the ball!

So are you guys ready for the totally best inside joke ever? The following is a converation with good friend Paul. While sassing off in an email, he recently used the phrase “good deep dick.” I was utterly disgusted. The following is our conversation on the matter. Read More!

Two things I’m not into:

1. Musical theater queerbombs

2. Musical theater queerbombs who wear “funky hats”

Today, however, I make an exception:

So I’m sure some of you have lost your phone before. And doesn’t it suck rebuilding your phonebook? Right, you guys?

So, there’s this total fag hag I know? who sometimes appears on this site as Eeez? And she’s totes one of my besties. But she sent me her number through MySpace instead of email, and so I forgot to enter it into my phone immediately. And here’s where the inside-joke style hilarity begins. Strangers of the internet, get ready to be in the know with our totally awesome inside joke.

Read More!

The social crisis has begun — all up in dem guts.

xoxo, cumdump in chief –

Fist Patrick