Have you guys seen this? If you’re cool, you probably have already since it was all over the internet yesterday.

It’s a new Cazwell single, predictably titled “I Saw Beyonce At Burger King,” released as a “viral video,” I am assuming, to try and get hype for his upcoming album Get Into It!

I really wanted to like it. Cazwell’s good looks (and kind of sexy crooked tooth?) make me think dirty thoughts, and it’s a proven fact that good looks can help make up for a lack of true musical talent. His first hit (if you can call it that, because it was probably only popular with urban gays), “All Over Your Face,” was catchy and fun, and the extras in the video are comprised of a large percentage of gay Williamsburg guys, many of whom company I enjoy the company of. But this new song is just annoying. Read More!

Update: We’ve since located the source of this madness. Her name is Thu Tran, she lives in Bushwick, and I basically am now her biggest fan. I wrote her fanmail this morning. Check out more of her madness at http://thutranthutran.wordpress.com/.

Can anyone, someone explain what this is?

Recap of what you just saw: An Asian girl cooks a plate of devilled eggs assisted by a white devil on a set inspried by Eureka’s Castle for a character named Yoko Oh No who does mock conceptual art.

This is about as far as I got to uncovering the purpose of this clip the other day while chatting with Erin. (note: “zay” is cool kids slang for amazing):

me: OMG
THIS VIDEO
ERIN
I AM CRYING I AM LAUGHING SO HARD
FOOD PARTY!!!!!
Erin: holy fuck!!! i know!!!!!!
i saw it and i was like, “COLIN WILL DIE.”
me: it’s sooooo zay
Erin: sooooo
tts agree
it’s out of control
me: is it AZN?
Erin: IT IS THE MOST AZN THING EVER.
IT IS MORE AZN THAN AZIA

Fulsom Street East was great this year guys. It’s better than pride. Srsly. I definitely made out with enough strangers to prove just how much pride I have. Also, a Mexican leather man called me “papito” which makes me blush! It means little papi!

Although I have to say I really wish there had been some fisting demos.

Now a quick joke.

Why do gay men always lose in fist fights? Because they think a fist looks like this:

FYI, that is called the “Silent Duck Technique.”

Yesterday, Time published an article about new findings on the physiology of the gay brain.

Scientists at the Karolinska Institute studied brain scans of 90 gay and straight men and women, and found that the size of the two symmetrical halves of the brains of gay men more closely resembled those of straight women than they did straight men. In heterosexual women, the two halves of the brain are more or less the same size. In heterosexual men, the right hemisphere is slightly larger. Scans of the brains of gay men in the study, however, showed that their hemispheres were relatively symmetrical, like those of straight women, while the brains of homosexual women were asymmetrical like those of straight men. The number of nerves connecting the two sides of the brains of gay men were also more like the number in heterosexual women than in straight men.

The article continues, basically explaining that homosexuals are superheroes with the best powers of both sexes, “it may turn out that the brains of gay men possess only some ‘feminized’ structures, while retaining some masculine ones.” I take this to mean that my brain has the reasoning and emotional capacity of a woman with the strength and appetite of a man. Quite an argument for the homosexual agenda!

This got me thinking about my own brain. I couldn’t help but make a diagram of my brain and notice how actually it seems to be less the brain of a gender queer super being and more the brain of a dirty adolescent boy… Picture after the jump. Read More!

Remember my sworn vendetta against Josh and Josh Are Rich And Famous and all they stand for?

Thanks to the wonderful Vagenius, this little gem has just come my way. It appears one of the Joshes posted the following picture picture on his facebook with the caption “hanky code 101.”

Josh, what you are advertising is a little more than “101.” This is more like a full on PhD in ass gymnastics. According to this online guide to the hanky codes, a red hanky in the right hand back pocket means that that the wearer is looking to receive a good fisting. Josh Koll — you slut! That sort of behavior will not land you the sort of gay, married lifestyle recently featured in the NYT you are so very jealous of. You’re much more likely to just end up with a prolapsed rectum.

Fist Patrick called it a few years ago during our senior year at NYU. Beards, he claimed, were going to be make a comeback. And he was right.

In fact, in recent weeks, Christopher Schulz, an art gay in Brooklyn, has received a lot of press for his independently published periodical Pinups that taps into what is becoming known as the “post-bear” culture. Its pages are essentially decorated with images of naked young guys who like their beards, buzz, fuzz, and fur (in fact, the original cover boy is a contributor to this very blog!). And guess what? No mention of bears, cubs, otters, wolves, dragons, witches, unicorns, or time-eating CGI robots. How refreshing! Schulz, instead, considers Pinups to be a larger, publicly-displayed method of feeding his artistic and sexual appetite. It’s not porn for hairy guys and it’s not a catalog dripping with false homoeroticism. Pinups, Schulz claims, “[embraces] natural beauty as opposed to the plethora of ubiquitous Adonises in the commercial ether,” and while that’s a lot of fancy wordage, I totally get it. And it makes me feel super.

2006, a time before Pinups, saw the rebirth of shag, and while it took a while to grow on me, personally, I am an admitted slave to the scruff. So last year, when I grew my own (it’s a scruffy shell of fuzz, not an attempt at being mistaken for Bin Laden), I would never have guessed that I would experience a sea change in the way I was received by others. Read More!

While recently at a comedy show downtown, I sat behind a homeless girl (if living in Williamsburg lofts constitute one as “homeless,” that is) and her friend, a petite, effete young man who acted like a teenybopper circa 1997, orange belly shirt and all. As I sat with my boyfriend at the time, the guy made sure to start chatting us up and dropping the names of places where he had been employed as a go-go dancer (including the OG dumps like Twirl and Heaven, not surprisingly, clubs where my twinky gay friend in high school went to soak his UFO pants on “Foam Night”). If we didn’t already realize that he was, in fact, gay, he made it clear when he brassily suggested we include him in a threesome.

Look, there’s a reason I don’t date girls. Like the bestseller says, I’m just not that into them. Vaginas aren’t necessarily my “thing,” per se, so when this dude literally started to do “skanky dancing” to The Pussycat Dolls song playing overhead, just as he started to tease us with glimpses of his ugly, overpriced underwear (does anyone else think it’s creepy that gay guys scoop up undergarments slightly resembling those worn by those whose balls haven’t yet dropped?), I had enough. Read More!

So on the way home tonight I literally heard this, “So, my vagina was two feet from the hole. And then a dead rat came out. And then it went up there.”

And I was all, “Woah, New York is a dangerous place,” silently in my head. Seriously, guys, stop moving here and driving up my rent.

But like usual that’s not the point here. The point here is mygayestlook.com. Their mission is simple:

On Thursday, March 20, 2008, Jay Leno welcomed as his guest on The Tonight Show the actor Ryan Phillippe, who, early in his career, played a gay character on the daily soap One Life to Live. During the interview, Leno hounded Phillippe, telling him to look into the camera, pretend it was his “gay lover…Billy Bob,” who “has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming” (still milking the Brokeback jokes), and give it his “gayest look.”…So now it’s your turn! Send us your “gayest look” for Jay here.

Point is, that I felt the need to leave a response. And you can find my probably NSFW but not really NSFW (because the naughty bits are blurred) response after the jump. Read More!

Thank god I can’t have them.

Whoops! I forgot about butt babies! How else will I ever fulfill my dreams of being a hot hipster dad?

So you know what, guys? Forget what I have said about Josh and Josh Are Rich and Famous. The real enemies here are their commenters.

Wow, Schroeder. I am so sorry you missed them too? I am mostly just so sorry you made so much effort to see The Blue Man Group.

And according to today’s entry… boys have hit 5,000 comments. An army is assembling and they will be painting the town different colors of stupid. Beware

[“The Joshes Do Moving Day,” Josh and Josh are Rich and Famous]