Have you heard?—No, like, I was watching Lost (SO good last night).

Well, let me bring you pansies up to speed: A local labor leader introducing Hillary this past week said the nation needed a leader “that has testicular fortitude.” WOW. Her street cred in the trannie community just hit a new high. And before that in North Carolina, Gov. Mike Easley (D-lover of ballz) raised some eyebrows when he said Clinton was so determined that she made “Rocky Balboa look like a pansy.” Never mind that comment angered a couple of old fags in Asheville, what got me wonderin’ as a lover of Presidential Election history was which other Presidential hopefuls were total fembots and voted off the island of Presidentia–and yes, you guessed it, more often than not, they were Democrats.

Eugene V. Debs (Socialist-Hello!). What a commie slut! Born of French parents, Debs learned from a wee twink age to appreciate progressive causes. He ran for President five times as a fighter of Labor Unions and often denounced racism throughout his years as a socialist—which in the South meant you were into interracial gay love. Sorry, not gonna happen in this country: go to jail. Read More!

She just won’t go away. GO AWAY! GO Awaaaay! Who? Hill-Rod, as she was affectionately nicknamed this past week when she’d sucked enough lower middle-class white cocks and pandered all over their faces with her love of wrasslin’, KFC, and guns. M’kay? Barry Obama tried his darnedest to relate to them, but he barely made a dent. Not gonna finish the waffle and sausage, Barry? You ain’t gettin their vote. Politics is a game, and Obama bowled too many gutter balls. Fine.

No, what has frustrated me recently, especially as a homo thug (yeah, I’m butch and straight-acting, deal.) is this so-called Diva Theory as a way to explain Hillary’s appeal to the certain portion of the electorate, namely dudwa like Josh and Josh:

There is something weird going here. Hillary is the diva, the fabulous woman who is fabulous just because she says so. She’s the woman who is abused (by her husband), ridiculed (by the press), hated (by Republican mouth-breathers), yet she’s still standing. She’s like from some exploitation film where the heroine is beaten and barely raped before pulling a knife out of her sock and slicing the mean guy’s balls off. Her supporters have stood by her and fought her battles with her – and sometimes for her – since the 1990s. The emotional connection runs too deep. R-e-s-p-e-c-t, she shakes her finger. Find out what it means to me. And the crowd eats it up.

Finished? And here I thought the silly season of the presidential race began when Bill accused Barry of playing the race card on him. It was the gays! Never mind that a diva is typically an entertainer who is charismatic and sassy and has razor sharp wit. No, Hillary is a diva because she suffered; and us gays like a good victim who continues to show a bit of moxie in the face of a mean bully. Not me. Read More!

The Pope-a-Ratzi is in town! Happy Mexicans are coming out of the shadows to see him. But guess who’s not so feliz lately? Why, it’s your favorite Junior Senator from New York and aspiring Editor in Chief of these United States, HRC. Despite winning a majority of the votes from the most important voting bloc in the country, Hillary just can’t seem to woe the superdelegates as much as Barry Obama. ¿Cuál es un superdelegate, mista? Oh silly! They are peeps with large amount$ of street cred in the Democratic party and lately Team Clinton just cannot siphon off their support for him. Poor Shmoops.

So it came as no surprise to me when over an VIP breakfast at Balthazar with the Pope, that he himself would publicly endorse Barack Obama. HOLY MOLY! I nearly spit up my eggs en concotte on his sour cream hazelnut waffles. Is that even possible?

“It shall be done!” he declared.

Word.

It got me thinking, if his holiness could come out for Barry O then who else would be in line to embrace Hope™ and endorse him. Read More!

Welcome Gambypants to the Social Crisis. He’s come here to share his dreams and pundit inspired hallucinations.  In this entry, he has a special date with Dick Cheney…

Last weekend i couldn’t find anyone to go watch meet the press or read the nation with over a Venti americano so i went fly fishing instead with Richard. (or as he’s known to Saudi Arabia and these United States, Vice President Dick Cheney, Esq.) We usually go alone. He needs the quiet time; I need companionship of a strong male. However this time i brought my friend Tammy aka chartreuse and soda. Dick was hesitant at first to have a woman infringe on our man love time, not to mention the media brouhaha over a grown man with a younger woman but I made a deal with him. And so she came.

And boy did she impress him! Not only did she have a grasp of energy policy but her fly fishing bested even Lynn’s long standing record of 23,000 guppies. We ended the day with Colt 45s.