Look, I’m not a really good thinker when it comes to ACTUAL politics. I have extremely strong opinions about what qualifies justice, freedom, equality and the like, but these all come from my background in the liberal arts and queer theory. When it comes to true politics, like the kind that our president is a part of, I really am a clueless buffoon. So when I heard that president Obama was allowing his administration to defend DOMA, I really want to believe the best. I wanted to believe that this was about taking it slow, remaining neutral on the federal level regarding gay marriage, and a whole slew of excuses to give Obama the benefit of the doubt. And now? I just don’t know how angry I am supposed to be.

Our blog friend Ben over at Pinko Mag has already covered this, and pretty much expresses my opinion on the matter (especially those opinions I dare not speak regarding 16 year olds and Robert Patinson). So I’m not going to go on a rant reblogging basically the same sources he covers. But for those interested who haven’t seen the reporting happening this week, this editorial from the New York Times lays out the situation nicely.  HRC’s ever eloquent president Joe Solmonese wrote letter yesterday condemning Obama’s defense of DOMA, which has since become a voice representing an almost unilateral response from the homosexual community in opposition to Obama. Now if only HRC was as useful as Solmonese’s words are sweet — we might actually be accomplishing something!

My dilemma here is this: I drank the Obama Kool-aid. I want to believe this is all just some huge misunderstanding. I applauded all of the coverage of Obama’s fresh approach to diplomacy in the middle east. I think he’s doing great things for this country, and will continue to do more. I want to believe this is a little SNAFU and we can get through it and still come out stronger.

But really, how can I justify my support of Obama when he’s allowing a defense of DOMA that compares gay relationships and marriages with those between an uncle and a niece, two first cousings, and 16 year olds? Since when is my sex life and my adult relationships comparable the stuff that inspires certain particularly terrifying episodes of The X-Files? Not to shit on the practices of poor isolated communities in Appalachia, but I’m fairly confident to make the call that an adult gay relationship cannot reasonabley be compared to those that are questionabley statutory or incestuous. (Now if we were talking about two male 1st cousins or a 16 year old girl and a 32 year old leather mama getting married, maybe these comparisons make sense… but we’re not so those relationships are a moot point.)

What is Obama’s plan for gay rights after all the fancy talk we got back during the election? Just check out Obama’s Plan For Gay Rights.com.

My feelings are really complex here, so I’m just going to let Rihanna say it for me. The video I found has karaoke style lyrics so you can sing along, because that’s totally something you should do if you are reading this while sitting at work.

Oh, Obama… I hate that I love you so…

Now that Obama’s won and we are in a time of change.gov, I have to wonder what this loss must have felt like to McCain supporters. And then I saw these tweens and everything was so so clear.

What’s the difference between a presidential race an American Idol? That’s a rhetorical question; I don’t really want to know the answer.

Happy Halloween, guys! Buddies Gabe and Jenny just made a new scary video, “The Curse of Cindy McCain.” So scared about the undecided voters, guys.

You all watch the debates right? I assume all three of my regular readers of of a well informed ilk. What was up with that weird “Joe the plumber” bit? Is this some sort of Internet meme I am unaware of? Is”Joe the plumber” the next “I drink you milkshake” or “no homo”?

I love how Barack looks at the camera in these debates and really “speaks” to me. It makes my heart flutter/gives me a boner.

So this discourse logically raises the question: what are you all being for Halloween? I think this debates has inspired me. Considering how unseasonably warm October has been in New York this year, I think I can finally dress as a slutty (fill in the blank) on the day of our Pagan festival of spirits. I’m thinking I’ll be slutty “joe the plumber.” It will look kind of like this:

Do you think this is what Joe looks like? It’s the number two image on GIS when I look up “sexy plumber.”  I’d let him sure buy my (small) business. But what are you all being for Halloween?

Sarah Palin says she isn’t the sort of gal that blinks. So I challenged her to a staring contest.

Are you all watching the debates? Are you excited for the Sarah Palin nuclear meltdown tomorrow? I sure am excited to see that terrifying goddess of the north prove to be the largest embarrassment to American politics.

Remember how McCain saif he didn’t win Miss Congeniality in the Senate? Feels like ages ago. Here’s a reminder (fast forward to around 3:40).

McCain obviously forgot what happened to him in Vietnam. Luckily,  Stephen Spielberg made a a pretty sweet biopic about how he used his good looks to go under cover on an espionage mission. It won, like, 3 academy awards. I can’t believe how the internet has influences us; our cultural memory is now so short. You might remember it because of the famous line everyone’s always repeating, “I love the smell of lipstick in the morning.”

DO you like comic books? Brent certainly does. Brent Rinehart that is. Have you met our friend Brent? He only likes beer on tap and dikes, but he’s also the Commissioner of a bright red anal state, Oklahoma. AND is also sort of an comic book wunderkind, or at least he wants to be. This fall he is being charged with assorted felonies and campaign-finance oriented crimes (natch), so one Meth fueled night he decided to lash out at all you anal polygamists who ruined his career and drew up a creative defense, kind of like Maus, but WAY BETTER. SWEET. (the link downloads the comic).

Each week we here at GMSC receive a gazillion pieces of fan mail either lauding our gallant efforts to offer fresh material or more often than not suggesting a post topic. (No, bababooey@lycos.net, I wasn’t at Royal Oak on Saturday wearing cut off jeans and a tank top. God, I hate missed connections.)

One loyal reader in a letter suggested that we take John McCain up on his new Republican challenge: a $300 million government prize to whomever can develop a super battery that far surpasses existing technology thereby saving the planet from greed, filth, and famine. Hooray! I couldn’t help but get choked up with nostalgia, reminiscing about my days in the Boys Scouts when my father and I built a racing car for the pinewood derby. We lost. But the fight goes on!

So I took McBush™ up on his gimmick challenge, only to discover that I had absolutely no idea how to engineer a super battery à la Tony Stark. At first I thought Hillary Clinton could help. She has loads of free time on her hands now that she’s next season’s host of ANTM. She demurred. So I turned to the next best think tank in town: the Sugs, i.e., Sugarland. As noted, The Metropolitan had been closed by the DOH. (tsk, tsk dirty little Fitzy.) At first some participants were hesitant, but once those complimentary shots kicked in, several designs and blueprints came rolling in. You be the judge! Read More!

Last week I cashed in all my Marlboro Camel dollars and scored a trip with reporters aboard Hillary Clinton’s airplane. And I have to say, I may be an Obama supporter but the junior Senator from New York has certainly become more of person whom I can relate to, namely, she marries her DRUNK with the EEMS. That said, what follows is a transcript of of my trip:

Hillary: Weeeeeeeee! *hick* I’m so glad we’re besties. You win. I win. This’s been one, weeeeeee—wait, wheres my cellphone? Wow. It’s been one helluva primary, right, Health Care? Read More!

YEE HAW!! Shit is gettin’ good. The primary season has dragged on FOREVS, longer than a wild booze filled night with Fist Patrick. The Media don’t really need to cover the important stuff anymore like say Iraq, Health-care, Mexicans.

Instead, they’ve begun highlighting important character flaws for each candidate, namely, how Barack Obama’s a fag who likes to bro down with dumb jocks but can never quite relate to them. Mmmm…STEAK-UMMS!

Recently, one of his old boyfriends, John Edwards, joined him in Michigan for a much needed endorsement. Remember him? He campaigned way back in the Stone Age. Edwards simply loves a nice blue-collar boy. And those guys cream for him, too. Moments before their love fest, Barack wanted a fix of some bro and headed to a Chrysler Plant. The fool! WHY OH WHY didn’t he take my advice and avoid any possible stunt to seem manly. Stick with basketball, not silly Urkel glasses and fluorescent green Ipod headphones, Barry. And sweetie, honey, darling, when you prance around an industrial town and refer to a reporter as Sweetie, you seem more Absolutely Fabulous than Absolut Brut. Sassy won’t beat back the Republicans, get a little heated.

Rather then simply ignoring the reporter, he broke down like a sensitive boyfriend and left the ballsy woman a message: Read More!