So I have refrained from blogging about this little project because… they are like my besties and I’m not even sure if this content belongs on this blog. But fuck it, right? Like 5 people read this so who cares.

My buddies have this pretty fresh band called The NUDES. They have a tumblr.

So I got this pretty fresh musical persona you might not know about. It’s called Cold Coconuts. Sometimes I show up at Savalas, mostly for my friends DJ sets. It gives me lots of inspiration for my own shit. I think it’s really important to have gay representation in the class of cutting edge cultural producers.

You know it’s real because I already have an EP cover for when I finally figure out how to make some beats in Garageband. Kyle nudes designed the cover, it’s pretty fresh.

Cold Coconuts got fuckin’ BLAZED and hung out with the nudes a little while ago. It was pretty fresh. You can see their blog about it here.

Last night I was privileged enough to get into the Jeremy Kost opening at Dactyl Foundation. Jeremy Kost takes fetishistic pictures of skinny model boys with high cheekbones and also makes videos of them. Below is an example of one of his smaller works from “Jeremy Kost, After The Party.”

This particular piece is kind of like a David Hockney inspired softcore gay porn, I guess. But I’m not really blogging about this party so I can discuss the art. I will say this before I move on, I wasn’t particularly moved and while I wouldn’t say I disliked the work, there was something I found strangely dated about it. There’s something about this show that is a strange combination of a really emo teenager’s livejournal pics and the kind of electroclash glamour popular circa 2002. While viewing the work, I also uncontrollabley exclaimed, “God, I wish there was some actual dick in these pictures instead of the artfully covered fashion bullshit.” But for reals, the art is nothing I’d rave about but also not anything I feel the need to rail against.

But what I really need to talk about here was what a strange scene this opening was. Read More!

So I still check my MySpace. Yes. I know Facebook is superior. But I still check my personal MySpace about about two to three times a week. Because I am an internet addict who blogs.

Normally I immediately reject any friend requests from bands who I do not know. Recently, however, I made an expception to the rule because this one band had such a sweet picture. I took a second, listened to their music, and was blown away. As I’ve expressed before, I am a sucker for lo-fi sound. Also a sucker for  lo-fi electronic music. And these guys sucked me in with their charm and grace and amazing style, and as I can’t seem to find anyone who’s blogged about them, I had to do it here.

Gentlemen, please meet The Hmmm.

The Hmmm are two dudes, Hayden and Jacob, who claim to be husbands. They  out in L.A. who have totally fresh style and do a totally post electro-clash version of lo-fi indie electro. Also, I have mad internet crush on both these boys. They’re way cute, which always makes music sound better, right? I sure hope they’re swingers, because I would love to get in between that.

Reasons why they are the most crush-able lesser known indie act online after the jump. Read More!

There are few things I will miss about 2008. 2008 was like a weird year that just extended 2007 for twice the time. It’s almost like 2008 didn’t happen. Looking forward to 2009 when we all get to realize change.gov that matters.

But there is one thing I will miss. And that thing is Sparks. Sparks Light (in the blue can) to be specific. Like this one time? We made a weird music video with me and my friends to the song “Careless Whisper”? And we made a Sparks keg by pouring a ton of it into a ice tea container? And all got disgusted because the foam that came off the container was solid and wouldn’t dissolve, much like sea foam on the beach. That was when I learned to only drink the stuff out of a can. And now, as most of you have heard, the Attorney General has declared that we can no longer imbibe of this holy water for hipsters.

[img via Hipster Runnoff]

Now no one has memorialized Spark quite like artist Nathan Danilowicz, with his Sparks Christ, Baby Sparks Christ, Sparks Teeth, and other Sparks based projects, but I will do my best. So now, a poem:

Sparks, like a light in the dark
You keep me up all night
Like the song of the lark

I drink you in the early evening
So awake
Ready to go to a bar
And be irresponsible

You are orange
Like a tabby cat
Or a street sign that flashes “Stop”
Hope my insides turn that color

Whoops
Someone is in my bed
Condom lies on floor
Good job, Sparks
Tastes like success

How can I live without?
I can haz Sparks? I can’t haz. Fail.

When I am at the pearly gates
I will ask St. Peter for one last Sparks
And find you there
A can with wings and a halo
Red Bull can suck it

Can someone explain to me why this exists? It makes me so angry. Like… WTF white people. H8 you so much. Please never go around spreading meaningful messages in a weird knit hoodie ever. Also, please don’t put on a vinyl album in the morning and dance around your room in the clothes you slept in. It’s just weird and nobody likes the way you smell when you forget to change your clothes because you’re too busy dancing for your own narcissistic gratification.

Via HRO.

Fun fact: This takes place in Seattle! On Capitol Hill by the reservoir! How authentically alternative!

I think I have a knew celebrity crush. No joke. Nick Littlemore from the Australian electro house group, PNAU. Love him. I mean, he takes pictures of himself wrapped around a unicorn (he’s the one on the right)!

I can only think of one other artist that has utilized a unicorn in her media image.

Also? His band has this amazing game that has nothing to do with their music. Granted the game isn’t so original, it’s basically SNOOD (or Bust-A Move, or a variety of other classic games) all over again. But considering that in the PNAU game, you shoot colored balls out of a stubby pink penis, evil tomatoes dance at the top, and a small alien lives in the corner of the screen, I have to say I far prefer the PNAU version just for the graphics alone. It’s the best usage of retro graphics and psychedelia in interactive marketing I’ve seen in a while. The only game I can think of that out does it better is the king of retro games online, Dino Run.

So we have video games, unicorns… and did I mention, as I found out via HRO today, he loves to take his shirt off? I just think that it’s adorable when guys who lack some sort of idealized body love showing off their own naked torso. He kind of has a beer pooch in his gut, and isn’t what I would call muscular or toned in any sense of the word. I guess maybe he could be called twinky? I hate reducing people to labels.

After the jump, every single possible picture of Nick Littlemore with his shirt off I could find online. Read More!

In my travels on the internet, I come across a lot of strange and wonderful things. This falls in the “wonderful” category. It’s by the POYKPAC, a comedy group that also produces Web series for IFC. You might remember them from when they created the virally popular Hipster Olympics. It’s their new video, posted a month ago, about a fictional PBS series called ‘Llectuals.

I’ll write something of substance this week once the people around me stop being pedantic and my life becomes more pedestrian.

Have you guys seen this? If you’re cool, you probably have already since it was all over the internet yesterday.

It’s a new Cazwell single, predictably titled “I Saw Beyonce At Burger King,” released as a “viral video,” I am assuming, to try and get hype for his upcoming album Get Into It!

I really wanted to like it. Cazwell’s good looks (and kind of sexy crooked tooth?) make me think dirty thoughts, and it’s a proven fact that good looks can help make up for a lack of true musical talent. His first hit (if you can call it that, because it was probably only popular with urban gays), “All Over Your Face,” was catchy and fun, and the extras in the video are comprised of a large percentage of gay Williamsburg guys, many of whom company I enjoy the company of. But this new song is just annoying. Read More!

Remember the Cindi tumblelog we made? That was the fake life of a fictional hipster? The worst kind of hipster girl? Kyle’s been posting a lot of pictures and I occasionally post some text and we’re still keeping it up. But this morning I had a conversation that made me question whether it was parody… or actually a representation our real lives.

me: are you going to deerhoof tonight?
because EVERYONE’s going
Hannah: probably
hahahaha
me: hahaha
Hannah: i hate deerhoof
me: i assume cindi is over them but needs to make an appearance
HOW CAN YOU HATE DEERHOOF?!?!?!?!
OMG CINDI
Hannah: but i’m psyched on the idea of a experimental orchestra doing rites of spring
they are so dull
they are both precious and pretentious
me: haha, but they’re cute and fun
Hannah: i want to kill them
HOWEVER
me: i don’t think they’re pretentious at all
precious I’ll give you
Hannah: apparently the guitarist from xbxrx and the flying luttenbachers plays with them now
which is rad
me: HAHAHAHAHA
omg, I love it
Hannah: god i hate myself
me: you’re making me shit myself
Hannah: I AM NOT EVEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE
me: I KNOW
you’re the best at it
Hannah: BEST ON ACCIDENT
UGGGHHHHHHH
also i am so hungover i want to die
BECAUSE CINDI (read: ME) WENT TO BOTH ENIDS HAPPY HOURS LAST NIGHT

Fuck.

So I’m recently kind of obsessed with pretending to be the worst type of hipster ever and now this blog also. Perhaps my obsession is even bordering on pathological because I had to start a tumblr account for a fictional hipster named Cindi today to get it out of my system. Follow it and imagine she’s real and get endless laughs.

That being said I have a new game. Take a one of Jenny Holzer’s Truisms and replace a key noun with “hipster.”

• A lot of hipsters are crackpots
• A hipster means a lot just by itself
• A hipster can’t know what it is to be a mother
• A strong sense of hipster imprisons you
• Absolute hipster can be a form of freedom
• A relaxed hipster is not necesarily a better hipster
• Abuse of hipster comes as no surprise
• Hipster is just as dangerous as complacency
• At times your hipster is truer than you conscious mind
• Being hipster is more important than anything else

Endless hilarity guys.