Speaking of Margaret Cho, the loudmouthed lady comedian is about to reinvent her career with a reality show. But unlike “D-List” success story Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho was never even a little funny.

I’ve already gone on at length about why I think Kathy Griffin is essentially awful. She treats her gay male fans like pets, glorifying them in a manner that comes off as gentle fun-poking, when in reality is merely a marketing tool (that has, needless to say, worked like a charm).

And yet, I somehow find Margaret Cho more offensive, and not just because - again - her “dirty, edgy” humor makes Carlos Mencia look like George Carlin (hush yo’ mouth!). It’s bad enough when a comedian’s home run is dependent upon race relations, but Margaret Cho quickly traded the “My mom is crazy!” bit for something significantly ickier: the self-positioned “outsider” stance.

Although she’s now slender and married to a dude, Margaret Cho was - at one point - chubby and “bisexual” [and Korean - IMAGINE THAT!]. She swiftly adopted the “oddball” status that has since been mainstreamed by Pete Wentz and his army of Emo kids in eyeliner and skinny jeans. By doing so, she went totally LGBT-friendly, calling herself “queer,” fondling a vagina or two, and taking up burlesque (the unofficial hazing ritual for any overweight lady who even thinks about going lez). Thus, Cho acquired a gay fan-base. Are homos really that easily manipulated into disguised consumerism? (Answer: Yes. Yes they are.)

And that, readers, is likely how she got to write an idiotic (and dare I say “destructive”) piece in this month’s Advocate titled “Dick O’Clock.”

Most fag hags agree that the best times they’ve ever had were at gay bars, sharing precious moments with their fags, drinking lovely pink cocktails and dancing and laughing the night away.

Until it becomes “dick o’clock.” You know what time that is, don’t you? It is when all the gay men in the club simultaneously start looking for dick.

Margaret Cho, you see, is a dear, dear friend to gay guys. She can say “fag” and it’s okay. She’s in the club, you see? She, herself, is a self-appointed “fag hag” because - that’s right - she knows the terminology [bitches]! Read More!

In a film naturally dominated by a cast of downtown, off-the-radar artists, actors, and overall “personalities,” it was not easy for any one performer to necessarily give a “breakthrough” performance in John Cameron Mitchell’s sweet, endlessly clever 2007 film Shortbus. Nevertheless, Jay Brannan, a guitar-strumming prettyboy, who plays Ceth, a guitar-strumming prettyboy (with a name spelled funny because he’s, y’know, quirky and shit), clearly stands out among his co-stars. Brannan not only makes Ceth likable in a role that otherwise might be seen as whiny and self-congratulatory, but his charisma as an actor (and his butt*) is additionally undeniable.

“Soda Shop,” Brannan’s original song featured in Shortbus, served as a prime example of his signature style of songwriting. With a lilting falsetto and biting, confessional lyrics, Brannan - on his new album Goddamned - is essentially Sara Bareilles, doused in gay with a pinch of Rent-inspired urban melodrama: the music is fine enough, and that’s all you need to know. He’s not Mozart, nor is he trying to be.

What’s kind of icky about Brannan, however, is that doesn’t just use his looks to sell records in a traditional pop manner (see Enrique Iglesias, Britney Spears, post-crazy Mariah), but does so in a grossly calculated, arugbly postmodern way in which he feigns vulnerability and overt self-awareness. Whether it’s drooling daddies, eager thirtysomething urbanites, or midwestern twinks looking for their own John Mayer, Brannan has crossed over into the mainstream via D.I.Y. YouTube videos in which he often sings his songs topless (and sometimes - in a move akin to that of a high school senior who didn’t the lead part in Guys And Dolls - naked) . Y’know, Jay’s just another gorgeous guy without his shirt on, singing sensitive ditties about rejection and loneliness, which are the same feelings experienced by folks just like you. Read More!

So this last weekend was a big movie weekend for me. Not only did I see Sex and the City but I also saw a superior but still awful movie called The Strangers. I went in with fairly high hopes for a trashy, fun horror movie, but unfortunately its only redeeming factor was that you get to see [SPOILER ALERT, ASSHOLES!!!] Liv Tyler get gutted like a fish. Reasons why the movie failed:

• Scott Speedman does not get naked.
• The killers were totally unexplained. While I realize that was the point that was supposed to make them scary, they would be WAY scarier if they were made out to be crazed meth addicts. I mean… really if you’re out on a killing spree at 5am I have a feeling you had a date with Tina that night, and the faces of meth are terrifying (with the exception of the one lady who just turns into Helena Bonham Carter from Harry Potter). Basically I never understood why they had what seemed to be super powers and secret access to any room in the house.
• Overuse of the gimmick where the killer lurks in the background of the mise en scene unbeknownst to the protagonist on screen.
• The masks the killers wore that concealed their identities the entire movie just weren’s scary.

And on that note, I had some ideas for some masks the killers could wear that would definately make the movie 3.7 times more terrifying (as confirmed by my anecdotal market research of friends via Gchat). Read More!

Remember my sworn vendetta against Josh and Josh Are Rich And Famous and all they stand for?

Thanks to the wonderful Vagenius, this little gem has just come my way. It appears one of the Joshes posted the following picture picture on his facebook with the caption “hanky code 101.”

Josh, what you are advertising is a little more than “101.” This is more like a full on PhD in ass gymnastics. According to this online guide to the hanky codes, a red hanky in the right hand back pocket means that that the wearer is looking to receive a good fisting. Josh Koll — you slut! That sort of behavior will not land you the sort of gay, married lifestyle recently featured in the NYT you are so very jealous of. You’re much more likely to just end up with a prolapsed rectum.

So you know what, guys? Forget what I have said about Josh and Josh Are Rich and Famous. The real enemies here are their commenters.

Wow, Schroeder. I am so sorry you missed them too? I am mostly just so sorry you made so much effort to see The Blue Man Group.

And according to today’s entry… boys have hit 5,000 comments. An army is assembling and they will be painting the town different colors of stupid. Beware

[“The Joshes Do Moving Day,” Josh and Josh are Rich and Famous]

Normally I am not one for gay hate. I might allow other authors to publish mildly hateful sentiments on this blog, but I rarely write about it. I do believe in carrying a certain amount of gay shame, but I think that’s healthy. But true honest to god hate against real, homosexual individuals is something I generally try to avoid, because deep down I really do believe in the power of community and solidarity. But I recently read something that struck my heart with fear.

So there’s this stupid, gay blog. It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just two super gays who get a lot of traffic because they have mild and inoffensive senses of humor and compare their lives to Sex And The City.

Q: You know how much traffic you must get for using Sex And The City related keywords?

A: A lot. So even idiots can be famous on the internet if they tap the right resources for traffic. It’s the same reason the top articles on digg involve pugs “cleaning” your screen.

So as much as I find the blog dumb and mildly vomit inducing (sites like this are why GMSC was started), their way of living and thinking has always been totally non-threatening to me and my lifestyle. I would just think to myself, “Oh, it’s OK, those fags live in Manhattan. I’m safe here in Brooklyn from people who think $1,000 shares are a good deal on an apartment, that their lives parallel Carrie or Miranda from Sex And The City, or that Sushi Samba constitutes a fine dining experience. I can stay in my loft casually dining on New Brooklyn Cuisine and avoid all of that and laugh at it’s novelty from afar.”

But recently I found, much like the Cold War’s domino theory, the threat has slowly moved in close to home. But while the domino theory proved to be a myth, this threat is very, very real. Josh (whichever one… who the fuck knows) has moved to Brooklyn, or as he calls it, “Pulling a Miranda.” Read More!

Meet Ben Johnson, chairman of the Iowa Federation of College Republicans:

“Irregardless of your opinions, the American soldier is someone who needs to be respected, someone who needs to be honored.”Oh reeeeeaaaaalllly Benjamin? Pbbbbblllllttttt.

Perhaps he should start listening to Jamie Stewart of Xiu Xiu:

Read More!