So since the last podcast, we have been sent one picture. It was not a picture of someone spelling their name with piss, as we requested, but instead a beautiful picture of hog’s head cheese.

Our listener who submitted this says in his email:

I worked really hard to catch the reflection of the light on the smooth jelly surface. Gross, now my fingers smell like pig brain. Insert bad swine flu joke here.

Recently I was sent a recipe from this same dinner where I had lamb’s head cheese, from the blog of one of the chefs, Cath, who made this amazing carrot, curry ice cream. I’ll hopefully be giving this a go in the near future, as my good friends Keez and Eeez over at Steeez recently acquired an ice cream maker.

While hitting up Eeez on gchat to try and get permission to use the their ’scream maker, the topic changed to what our lives would be like if we were famous actor super models and all the disgusting things we would have to eat. Head cheese would never be on the menu… instead? Non-fat cottage cheese. Our conversation after the jump. Friendship cottage cheese is not my friend. Read More!

Download the new episode!!!!!

In this episode, my buddy Marlon, who writes at 1squared.blogspot.com, and I talk dirty on mother’s day. In this episode we discuss how my voice sounds really gay, body hair, the gay gangs of New York, how attractive we find Jesus, beards and body hair, body odor, how Marlon smells like onions, the death of Sparks, pissing in public, eels in the butt, 2girls1cup, lamb headcheese, and read from a Web site that profiles Flutter Ponies, discussing their individual merits…. among other things.

Playlist:
Beyonce - Dejavu
Marine Research - Queen B
Guided By Voices - As We Go Up We Go Down
Animal Collective - Prospect Hummer
Beck - O Maria
Crystal Castles vs Health - Crimewave
Belle and Sebastian - Your Cover’s Blown
Rolling Stones - Wild Horses
Lou Reed - New York Conversation

Download the new episode!!!!

You can also listen via our Podomatic page… but I’m dumping this service soon since I haven’t been happy with it and will be porting the podcast to SoundCloud, which is way better.

If you’d like to be a guest on A Podcast in Crisis, message me here.

Remember when the Where The Wild Things Are that everyone was so exited about. Every blog was like, “OMG, it looks so good, we can’t make fun of it. This has awesome indie cred,” and all your friends were posting it to Facebook like somehow you wouldn’t have heard about it otherwise (you know, it’s not like it has millions of dollars in marketing backing it and working to create hype). Well a little while ago, that trailer and its popularity got its comeuppance in the form of brilliant parody. Not that it really deserved “comeuppance,” but when the trailer was released I basically had people shoving it up all my holes and am happy to see it made fun of.

Landline TV presents Spike Jonze’s new original movie, Everyone Poops.

Highlights:

• The parents freaking out in the beginning
• The talking toilet
• The unicorn explaining to Amanda while looking at a creek bed “This is where poop goes.” Raw sewage anyone?
• Triumphant self discovery at the end
• The tagline “Inside all of is… poop.”
• So many tiny details, like the dancing, it makes my head explode

For those who don’t know, Everyone Poops is a book, originally authored in Japan by  Taro Gomi featuring amazing illustrations of animals demonstrating a basic law of being alive — what goes in must come out. Below you can see some tween with a dog and a stuffed  Elmo doll read the book aloud, so that you can either relive your childhood potty training or regress to a toddler like state of wonder:

That being said I am still pretty excited to see Where The Wild Things Are, cliched indie tropes and all.

Remember when we mentioned the Flutter Ponies? Well they are back and are showing their might, ready to take over the world. This shit’s worse than Independance Day.

All your little girls are the new Cylons; you can’t tell what side they are on so lock them all up.

WTF Marlon?!?!?! WTF!!!! Why did you send me this?!?!?!?!

However, the existence of this video did force me to ask a very important question. How is performance art changing with the advent of the internet? Is this just a tween crying out for attention?

OR

Could this be faked to make her look more “rolly polly” as the video titles it? I mean, somebody did make a fake, horrifying dildo video (NSFW!!!)… Is she making an important statement about body dysmorphia like Jenny Saville? Is this just the way that artists are transforming their work to keep up with current technology and social media?

Jenny Saville. Closed Contact #10, 1996.

It’s just so hard to believe in anything since the Internet started, guys.So I leave it up to you, give your response in this poll.

Take it! podcast number two with Amy of outfitsoutfits.com…

We talk fashions, sex, and sexting, pooping your pants, “oops I crapped my pants” pants, the 90s, Obsessed, Club Vampire, Pat Califia, Doing It For Daddy, and a whole lot more.

d/l it here.

Playlist:

Jens Lekamn - “You Are The Light”
Japanther - “Dump the Body in Rikki Lake”
Future Bible Heroes - “But You’re So Beautiful”
Joni Mitchell - “California”
M.I.A. - “Ba-na-na Skit”
Neutral Milk Hotel - “Naomi”
PNAU - “Embrace” (featuring Ladyhawke)
sexschool.ytmnd.com
Pavement - “Range Life”

You know what’s not funny? Swine Flu jokes. They are obvious and kind of lame and people chortle because it’s such topical humor. I mean, you have to read the front page of the news to get it, so obviously only intelligent “in the know” people will understand your biting wit with such a reference.

That still didn’t deter me from trying really hard to find a decent Swine Flu joke. The solution? LolzSw9Flu of course!1!!11!!

After discarding about 17 attempts that were just too offensive (in an inecesarily cruel way), obtuse, or just not funny and cute. It’s not easy being funny about Swine Flu! Got your own LolzSwineFlu? Share in the comments.

So I went to go see Obsessed this weekend with my buddies over at Steeez. We basically all got a bit hammered and enjoyed the fuck out of the movie. It was great, Ali Larter is a true early 90s villainous vixen. Beyonce wasn’t bad either, and Idris Alba is pretty foxy himself.

Keeez made this sweet re-cap. I think it pretty accurately describes the entire plot of the movie. This movie basically goes perfect with whiskey and coke. You basically can just get drunk at home and watch this YouTube video over and over and save yourself the cost of a movie ticket though.

Also, before going to see the movie that night, a friend of mine for real overheard this conversation at the dentist:

“the latin and black receptionists where like “yeahh. mmmhmmm we’re drinking sake bombs and going to see Obsessed“

Those receptionists had the right idea!

I took the “What Muppet are you?” quiz on facebook and my result was “You are Miss Piggy singing ‘Fuck The Pain Away’”

So I know you all have been really emo over Susan Boyle as of late. Yes, her performance was great. Yes, she’s a 47 year old virgin. And yes, some sleazy company in Cali has given her a million dollar porn deal (which is totally the grossest thing I can imagine). But what I need to know, why these guys over in Sweden’s version of the show aren’t getting noticed in all the _______ Has Talent hype these days.

Dear Knäckebröddansen -

You have proven true talent. You are more than just naked boys singing. May you rise out of Susan Boyle’s shadow and claim your own right in internet viral video history and find immortality in the realm of online memes.

Your true fan -

Al Gore
Creator of the Internet