What the hell is up with this show on the Oxygen network, Addicted to Beauty? The posters in the subways these days are nearly an act of terrorism. Because while I hardly even understand what the show is about, when I see this image:

All I see is this:

Which reminds me of a little story. About 6 years ago I dated a pattern maker who was just starting at Heatherette. He was a really sweet guy, I have nothing bad to say about him, and while he has since gone the way of party promoting, fashion gay, and I a very different route, I remember a little anecdote he told me.

Apparently Sophia Lamar, Amanda Lepore, and Jocelyn Wildenstein get t0gether once a week for brunch at B Bar. We used to fantasize about getting an invite to this exclusive brunch – I can’t imagine it would be anything short of amazing. With this as my inspiration, I wrote this compelling pitch to the producers at Oxygen.

Dear Producers at Oxygen,

Plz c0nsidr my reality sh0w Queer Plastic Surgery Brunch. It will be way better than Addicted to Beauty. Way m0re Laffs and Lolz. Cheaper to make t00.

Your BFF -

Colin

I don’t know very much about Miley Cyrus. I have only heard one song, and the reason I heard it is because I wanted to see footage of tweens weeping (which is what happens in the music video). But did you know that she has a twitter? Also, that it’s really weird? A friend told me last night about this particular message she broadcast to her fans a while ago and I didn’t believe it until I tracked down the proof.

Gross? This is a verified account so we can safely say this was written my Miley herself.

This just raises so many questions and provides very few answers: What is a teenager doing in bed with her mom? Why is she scratching her mom’s bug bites? Why is her mother ok with that? Why is this something her PR allowed to be broadcast to her millions of followers? Is Miley Cyrus an alien from another planet?

Just like the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, I think the answers will always remain a mystery.

Vagenius, also known as fellow creator of GMSC Eliot, occasionally stops by to give is opinions on various topics and guys he’d like to do. This is one of his posts. You can see all of them here:

Having not posted in a while, suffice it to say I’ve got a lot on my mind (and I know that Arch Noble and the Manhunt blog guy are just waiting with baited breath because, let’s face it, I’m CRAZY important, you guys).

However, this isn’t the time or place (okay, well, yes, it is the place) for me to spout rhetoric or wax philosphical about issues facing gender, sexuality, and queer identification.  Nah, you guys, today’s a different kind of day.  In fact, it’s a day I’ve declared The Day I Found A Twink I’d Like To Enter.

As a gentleman who fancies himself a fan of mostly the “bear-friendly” crowd (by which I mean dudes with facial scruff, body hair, deep voices, muscular legs, and tattoos – BONER TOWN, “POP.” ME!), the “twink” is a body type to which I virtually pay no attention.  Of course, the feeling is often mutual, but nevertheless, my wiener could tell you firsthand (yes, she talks!) that little is less appealing than a torso resembling that of a tween girl.  No.  Thanks.

HOWEVER, the power of dance has changed all that in thanks to Curtis, or MrTinydancer88 (duh #1), a young (duh #2), entirely hairless (duh #3) musical theater actor (duh #4, 5, and 6) who has taken to dancing shirtless (duh #7) on YouTube in videos that showcase his mindblowingly skillful ability to Booty Dance.   Like only the most savvy of the ghetto princesses who popularized the dance, this fag pops his ass, makes it bounce, and, in the process, makes me forget that he’s wearing a girl’s headband (duh #8), has a BELLY BUTTON PIERCING (duh #9), and is essentially beckoning for a gang bang (duh #10) in front of his best gal pal (duh #11).

It’s sick, it’s twisted, and I can’t believe I want him to take off his cutoff sweatpants (duh #12).

I was busy catching up on my favorite little DIY podcast done by the lovely Dina and Laura over at Hey Girl Hey: A Podcast and just learned, while listening the the end of episode 27, about this little gem. Did you all know that Ryan Gosling was in a folk goth band called Dead Man’s Bones? Because I sure as hell didn’t. I guess this was big news back in late December?

Considering that the number one Google result this blog, which wrote up a crappy “love it or leave it” post and kind of looks like Boing Boing branded for the Sex in the City Gal (Miranda TOTALLY would read this. Let’s go get margs after work girls), I’m going to assume this is still fairly under the radar for any one who has any real taste or pizazz. People like me. I have pizazz and taste in case you didn’t know.

And I think this is kind of awesome? I don’t know if it’s just my  affinity for the use of children’s choirs in indie music or if I am truly listening to greatness.

Also, there’s this really sweet song.

DEAD MAN’S BONES – “NAME IN STONE” from biz3 publicity on Vimeo.

Ryan Gosling is officially number on in my pantheon of celebrity crushes from now on, as if his performance Half Nelson didn’t impress me enough. If I had his number I would totally sext him all the time.