This is an indie movie. Or something? Or is it just a parody trailer? Someone help.

Is that Fred Armisen with a quick cameo around 0:32? Someone help.

Hi guys. Meet my new boyfriend. He’s so dreamy and so good at… physics (if you get my drift).

Oh George Ramirez! You’re MY American idol! (Sigh)

[via Videogum]

Did you all know that hipsters gays sometimes sell themselves? Joe Pompeo decided to that this was worth a huge profile in the New York Observer. Often they are poor artists! Trying to fund projects

I feel like I heard this story before. Many times. Just two years ago, I remember Daniel Cartier getting a lot of press for making an album, and in interviews he mentioned in interviews how he used to escort to make cash. I myself have known guys that explored hustling as a mode of income back in the 90s when the economy was booming, guys that I could probably identify as hipster artist types. I hardly buy that somehow our recent recession is driving a new thriving rent boy economy and sparking hip looking men to the escort industry. But it makes for a good journalistic angle! Right?

Most importantly this made me wonder what type of rent boy I’ll be forced to become when the economy collapses and the class gap is so large I have no choice but to rent myself for orgies in the Village inspired by Caligula. I think I have a solution to make sure I stand out and can charge the big bucks.

Rent Boy Handle:  Daikon Radish
Tagline: Let’s see where I can fit
Specialty: Fitting in tight spaces, also pickling
Profile Pic:

Rate: $7340 a night

Obviously I would be marketed towards only the most high end clients, like that old dreamboat Elliott Spitzer! Maybe he’s marry me and it would be a hustler to housewife story just like Marc Jacobs and his boyfriend.

How would you sell yourself if you had to?

I saw this today and lost it. Now, I’m probably just a nerd, since I think this was genius and it made me laugh so hard I cried. But maybe there’s something to it. Witness the best redux of the Stars Wars Trilogy I have ever seen. This basically tells the story how it really is. Also, note the new homosexual pairing that happens at the end. Is it ok for me to fantasize about Luke and Hans being lovers? (no, no it is not ok you nerd.)

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn’t seen it) from Joe Nicolosi.

Because apparently my sense of humor for these winterlong updates on GMSC seem to be geared towards unspeakable, horrible acts of child abuse, I spent the evening yesterday looking at videos following exactly this theme with one of my favorite people in the world and past GMSC contributor, Elliott. Considering the hilarity of “sweet daddy bear” and lickable children, I decided I needed to share the following videos and in the process prove without a doubt that I am a horrible person. I think I’m going to just chalk these recent themes up to Seasonal Affective Disorder and leave it at that.

Elliott: totally a companion piece to Sweet Daddy Bear

me: “when was the last time you had sex with anyone! That was an evil occasion, wasn’t it!”
Elliott: IT WAS AN EVIL OCCASION!!!!!!
I’m going to start screaming that at people.
me: HAHAHAHA
Elliott: I kind of love him.
Especially that little dance he does at the 3 minute mark.
me: me too
it was an evil occasion is soooo good
Elliott: good times!
that’s right up there with “excuse my beauty!”
me: totes!
Elliott: and “He bite me in my bagina!”
me: totes
“little bites”
Elliott: I love crazy bagina lady.
Pronouncing vagina as “bagina” is automatically hilarious.

After the jump, more examples of why I need to either be sent to the gas chamber or have a frontal lobotomy.  Read More!

Did you guys see Obama usher in the era of change.gov yesterday? It was great and all, but I was mostly just wondering if Aretha Franklin’s hat will start appearing in the hottest club kid fashions this year.

But even in this time of change.gov and amazing bedazzled hats, there are still mothers getting outraged and thinking about the children. This Canadian mother, Trina Campbell, is not so happy with BUTT magazine right now. Did you know that some people might consider BUTT magazine pornography? And that they sell it at such family friendly organizations as American Apparel? It’s not like American Apparel has a reputation for employing coke head wastoids. Also American Apparel ads are the pinnacle of good taste and family values. You’ve seen them right?

So why is it that Trina thinks publications with images such as the following (of my lovely friend Ethan featured on the BUTT blog) need to be wrapped in yellow plastic with a text explaining that this is for readers 18 and up?

Do you think that if a similar scandal happened in the United States soon that Barack Obama will protect our rights to show our body parts as however we want in whatever publications? Do you think that Trina would have taken offense had this been a heterosexual publication? Do you think American Apparel should discriminate by censoring nudity aimed at homosexuals featuring men who like men while still maintaining a brand image largely aimed at heterosexual hipsters which feature females in compromising positions? Most importantly, were you able to spot my butt in the most recent issue #25 of BUTT magazine?

Really hope Barack Obama will unite us in one nation under intelligent hipster porn, guys. Laterz. Gonna go to AmerApar later today and get some new underwear I think. They have so many colors!

This is really just some sick, sick shit.

[via A Poor Wayfaring Stranger]

If only I could be that flexible, then maybe I could land a “sweet daddy bear.”

Have you all seen this? Because the person who started this themed tumblr is a genius. Witness Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling.

According to a fake quote from Orson Wells, he is “The most bromantic actor in the history of the world.”

I can’t help but agree, so I made my own Ryan Gosling meme pix.

But afterwards, we engaged in some hardcore shit.

Love you 4ever, Ryan.

[site via Jezebel]

Because I am the queen of the Gabe ‘n Jenny fan club, I can’t help but love and admire their new series, “Bestie by Bestie.” In this episdode, they ask the very important question, “Whose dad would you f*ck?”

“Bestie by Bestie” #2 from Gabe & Jenny.

Hmmmm. Maybe I’d do that silver fox on Gossip Girl, Bart Bass?

JK! I’d totes do Rufus first.

Last night I was watching Logo. Because it’s a homosexual station and I am a homosexual. Also, the televised version of Angels in America was on, and I think Tony Kushner’s gay fantasia is one of the most important pieces of theater in the past century. I can tell that Logo is a station for me because it shows the following types of ads during the commericial breaks:

I feel so represented!!1!!1! Guys from Spain are always soooo interesting. If I had a “type,” I would say my “type” is “interesting.”

Point is some in house ad came on with Varla Jean Merman where she talks about how it’s National Drag Month and that I should care for some reason. First I was offended, because in my head I thought it was February and that Logo was trying to steal Black History Month for drag queens/kings. Then my acid flashback ceased, and I realized it’s January and calmed down. While I don’t really think drag merits a “history month” and would be happier to see a National Transpeople’s Month, it did get me thinking — if I were to do drag what would my drag name be?

For porn, I’ve already decided that the funniest porn name possible is Daikon Radish. For one it’s a vegetable and lacks any overt innuendo, but when you think about it it’s basically a large dildo that is the size of something you’d see someone at The Eagle sit down on.  Also, it’s healthy! Also a title screen that scrolled text along the lines of “Slutty Summer 8: One Blew His Wad Over the Cuckoo’s Nest starring Daikon Radish” is super funny to me. Best. Porn. Name. Ever.

But if I was to do drag? I’m thinking maybe Babooshka. Because of the following video (just wait for it, you’ll see why):

Kate Bush is such a genius that she both can create a modern dance where a cello represents the “husband” in the song and that babooshka no longer means a Russian grandmother, but rather a weird Caligula inspired sex kitten with crazy back lighting. Basically I think if I did drag I would want to represent the same sort of inane, asynchronous ethic.

But really, what would my drag name be?