Last evening I was dining with a new friend of mine and we stumbled upon a rather exciting subject of conversation: our first experiences of being turned on by something gay in the media. I don’t know about you, but I have a distinct memory of the first time something gave me that tingle… down there. And I suppose it’s with a sense of pride that the honor of starting my young mind along the gutter, that I now sit tits-deep in, can be bestowed upon none other than Samuel Langhorne Clemens aka. Mark Twain.

(I think he picked his pen name based on how many anal beads he could take… it was something like that. Mmm… riverboat men.)

I digress… Anyhow please allow me to share with you a selected reading from Tom Sawyer, or is it Huck Finn? Does it really matter? This is hot hot hot! I hope you have lube. Read More!

So on the way home tonight I literally heard this, “So, my vagina was two feet from the hole. And then a dead rat came out. And then it went up there.”

And I was all, “Woah, New York is a dangerous place,” silently in my head. Seriously, guys, stop moving here and driving up my rent.

But like usual that’s not the point here. The point here is mygayestlook.com. Their mission is simple:

On Thursday, March 20, 2008, Jay Leno welcomed as his guest on The Tonight Show the actor Ryan Phillippe, who, early in his career, played a gay character on the daily soap One Life to Live. During the interview, Leno hounded Phillippe, telling him to look into the camera, pretend it was his “gay lover…Billy Bob,” who “has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming” (still milking the Brokeback jokes), and give it his “gayest look.”…So now it’s your turn! Send us your “gayest look” for Jay here.

Point is, that I felt the need to leave a response. And you can find my probably NSFW but not really NSFW (because the naughty bits are blurred) response after the jump. Read More!

This week Meat Picnic brings you a short that is kind of like Ilsa: She Wolf of the S.S. meets a Dennis Cooper novel. Enjoy.

Episode 7 — Kein Korper Aber Du

I’ve been hanging on the edge of the Crisis for a while now, trolling the site and waiting for the perfect moment to expose myself. It was only a few weeks ago that I went through the rigorous initiation and promptly wrote and deleted a post in one afternoon. Suffice to say, a gun that shoots glitter tends to speak for itself, and all I could really muster were a few epithets about shitting glitter and the like. That said, today the sun rises on a new age, marking the triumphant addition of me LA to the otherwise New York-focal site. Sure my city has no condoms with subway fonts, or The Metropolitan, but sex and intoxication is the same everywhere. And, dare I say it, living in Williamsburg does not include affirmation of homo-sovereignty, it merely seems to. So allow me to segue to something that is just soo LA right now, Meth Advertising.

Those smitten with ‘Tina are up for a real treat this month. Billboards are up all over the city, putting a face to the hollowed out lightbulbs found in Star Jones’ house back alleys. Gone are the campaigns of yesterday, raising awareness that your meth habit is problematic if you’re “using on the weekdays”. No, no, no… this is how you get people to stop using… Read More!

Ok. Before I get to the reason I am writing this post, I need to make a confession. Somehow, even after my last embarrassing Band of Horses dream, I had another one of those embarrassing hipster dreams. In this one, I was at a Guided By Voices concert, only instead of Robert Pollard, a very young David Byrne was the frontman. Also, the band was the band from Pavement. Instead of dancing around and standing up, David Byrne would only sit on the edge of the stage and sing with a single raised eyebrow.

Actually, this dream was more awesome than embarrassing. I’m actually bragging about what a cool mind I think I have right now.

But the point of the post is actually this. I got to write my first blog for our company blog today. You can find it here.The whole thing turned into a kind of a dry press release. Here’s the original intro to the entry after the jump. Read More!

Is it just me or is top chef littered with more and more fierce lesbians every year?

Case in point, here’s the lezzie line up for Season 4:

That would be Lisa, Zoi, Jennifer…. and Richard’s haircut.

Also I have a huge crush. Read More!

Please welcome Meat Picnic. I grew up with these guys and they make some of the best mind blowing videos on the internet. We’re proud to be partnering with their new weekly series by bringing it to the Social Crisis. For more about them go to meatpicnic.com. This is the sixth episode in their new series, so there’s a lot to see. Warning: Don’t watch if pregnant, menstruating. Videos have been known to cause spontaneous lactation.

Weekly Meat Picnic Episode 6 — You’re invited

Weakly Meat Picnic Episode 6 - “You’re Invited” from Meat Picnic on Vimeo.

Happy Irish Day everyone. I’m a leprechaun and proud.

In honor of my people, I spent the whole weekend drinking and eating corned beef, cabbage, and soda bread. My mother sent me a loaf of her Irish Heritage Foundation approved soda bread, she won first place. But she’s Polish.

Here’s the problem with suddenly plunging my body into a world of braised brisket full of gelatin fat and beer. It leads to really weird dreams. Last night I literally dreamed that junkie serial killers lived next door to me and were leaving comments on my blog that made my site break because the comments had really weird html formatting. Like glitter graphics combined with blockquote tags and a LOLcatz graphics. Things no human being should do on the internet.

After the jump check out my super secret family recipe for corned beef and cabbage. Read More!

I hurt my neck on Sunday. So I am out of commission, meaning I replaced my usual Tuesday exercise with pizza, a beer, and video games.

Last night I got a chance to play Super Smash Bros Brawl. No, it was not as amazing as I thought it would be. But granted, I had really high expectations. It’s basically just about as good as the first but with a lot more options. Like one of the options you can turn on called “curry breath” that turns the game into a cluster fuck where you rapidly and uncontrollably breath fire. It has to be seen to be understood. Take my word for it. It’s stressful.

Mostly what I can’t get over is the weird inconsistencies with the marketing of the game.

Wow. Check out this awesome, fierce cast of male Nintendo characters usually rendered as family friendly cartoons, but here, rendered as colorful rugby guys who will bite your ear off. Read More!

I went last night with my good buddy who writes under the nomenclature Eeez over at our sister blog Steeez to go see this:

I’m not going to lie. I fucking LOVED it. But it should have been called Step Up 2 The Streetz, spelled with a Z not an S. That’s my only criticism.

Also because all people of my generation are capable of doing is emulating popular media (I mean, look at Columbine. That happened because they played violent video games, right?), the logical result is a dance off this Saturday. Expect to get a text with the location at the last minute so that you can run out of your school’s fund raiser and compete… in the streetz. Read More!