You know what I hate? Stalled trains and cold, cold days.

To fend off the cold, this week I made a video with good friend Justin in honor of Daniel Day-Lewis’ (”I Drink Your Milkshake”) win at the Oscars as well as my own discovery of the “No Homo” internet meme. Apparently people have been making “No Homo” videos since 2003? WTF? How did I never see these before.

Now witness the glorious union of two internet memes.

And yes… I did end the segment with bad emo music. Because no clip of mine is really complete without that.

With the eyes and ears of a giant manbaby, I have a good amount of difficulty adopting the “New York attitude” of remaining ignorant to everyone and everything in public settings. That being said, it’s hard to not get caught up in some of the especially intriguing sights that happen specifically in New York’s underground lairs. Here are some of my recent favorites:

What’s MetroPlus? I think it’s exclusive to minorities. Oh, wait…

Floppy hair and football neck? Sign me up. Whatever, I like doctors appointments. And football necks. Read More!

So you know what, guys? Forget what I have said about Josh and Josh Are Rich and Famous. The real enemies here are their commenters.

Wow, Schroeder. I am so sorry you missed them too? I am mostly just so sorry you made so much effort to see The Blue Man Group.

And according to today’s entry… boys have hit 5,000 comments. An army is assembling and they will be painting the town different colors of stupid. Beware

["The Joshes Do Moving Day," Josh and Josh are Rich and Famous]

Because I am constantly need to find ways to drink more while preserving my waistline and, as less beer equals less calories, I ended up drinking vodka this weekend. And remember, if it’s clear it doesn’t have calories.

So what? Why is it noteworthy that I drank? I drink every weekend. This is why:

SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK!

This stuff is serious poison. A good friend who works for NewFest had brought it to a party because they are a NewFest sponsor and he has a lot of bottles of it lying around leftover from events.

Yeah, sure, it looks like normal vodka. But in the fine print below that V2 logo is a very important message; this stuff is infused with taurine and caffeine. Read More!

Cute, right? The man’s got a jaw that could cut glass, and thighs that could crack walnuts. Doesn’t he look kind of wholesome? Except for the fact that, you know, those red eyes aren’t the result of a cheap camera but actually the evil that dwells within (wasn’t that a Tori Spelling Lifetime movie? No? Well, it should be). But all this just makes him more exciting, especially when you find out he’s a notorious rapist most well-known for drugging, raping and eventually murdering his wife’s younger sister. Oh, don’t worry though – his wife, Karla Homolka, was totally fine with it. (NSFW after the jump) Read More!

Normally I am not one for gay hate. I might allow other authors to publish mildly hateful sentiments on this blog, but I rarely write about it. I do believe in carrying a certain amount of gay shame, but I think that’s healthy. But true honest to god hate against real, homosexual individuals is something I generally try to avoid, because deep down I really do believe in the power of community and solidarity. But I recently read something that struck my heart with fear.

So there’s this stupid, gay blog. It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just two super gays who get a lot of traffic because they have mild and inoffensive senses of humor and compare their lives to Sex And The City.

Q: You know how much traffic you must get for using Sex And The City related keywords?

A: A lot. So even idiots can be famous on the internet if they tap the right resources for traffic. It’s the same reason the top articles on digg involve pugs “cleaning” your screen.

So as much as I find the blog dumb and mildly vomit inducing (sites like this are why GMSC was started), their way of living and thinking has always been totally non-threatening to me and my lifestyle. I would just think to myself, “Oh, it’s OK, those fags live in Manhattan. I’m safe here in Brooklyn from people who think $1,000 shares are a good deal on an apartment, that their lives parallel Carrie or Miranda from Sex And The City, or that Sushi Samba constitutes a fine dining experience. I can stay in my loft casually dining on New Brooklyn Cuisine and avoid all of that and laugh at it’s novelty from afar.”

But recently I found, much like the Cold War’s domino theory, the threat has slowly moved in close to home. But while the domino theory proved to be a myth, this threat is very, very real. Josh (whichever one… who the fuck knows) has moved to Brooklyn, or as he calls it, “Pulling a Miranda.” Read More!

Can I hate a gay for being feminine? Yes. No. That would be wrong.

Can I hate a gay for being altogether creepy? Heck yeah. Welcome to teh infraweb.

Okay, I don’t hate Jack Mackenroth, the designer whose vague and teary-eyed departure from Project Runway was kinda sad, but mostly confusing. He’s had HIV for 17 years and claims to be in perfect health, but his exit from the show was a result of what looked like a painful infection clearly emphasized the reasons to never ever visit a plastic surgeon (srsly, waxed brows and curled lashes are one thing, but his enhanced cheekbones and hollowed-out eyes are nightmarish and …predictably sought-after in Chelsea’s gay ghetto).

Anyway, this isn’t an extremely late post about a months-old ProjRun episode (leave that to the experts) or a meditation on Jack’s mild appeal via his utter weirdness. Rather, I came across this treasure (which has since been flagged) on Craigslist, an ad that doesn’t quite purport to do anything but directly offend Mackenroth in a somehow more retarded pidgeon-y LOLtalk. Read More!

I am on vacation right now in LA. I went down and saw Venice Beach and got to be an obnoxious tourist. I met some new people, such as a chirping man and a rapper from the land where stars are reborn.

Venice Beach from Colin on Vimeo.

So I had a big birthday bash on February 2nd as promised. Kudos, me, for surviving for a quarter of a century.

Thank you all that were there.It looked like a bomb of fun (alcoholism) had exploded in my apartment the next day. Never have I been so proud to have so many good friends. One of my fellow writers on this site has since dubbed me “the mayor of hot dudes with beards city.” I was proud to see all the glasses, beards, and flannel. Between the cases of White Castle you wonderful people provided and the keg of Coors, my house was truly a beautiful den of excess and sleaze.
Know what I was also proud of? My sweet sugar daddies over at The Steeez made me a jacket. It has serious upstate New York hardcore punk style. Check it, oy oy oy!

It has some features to enhance one’s style and ease that I need to show off. But also embarrassing features that can only be illustrated with an embarrassing picture, and I’m totally putting it behind the jump. Because I might just kill myself if that became my new homepage. Read More!

From an anonymous tipster:

Can you guys see the sweater that girl is wearing?

It’s purple fake mohair with concentric sequined circles around the neck in silver, purple, teal, then gold. It has cap sleeves.

I am so sorry you chose to wear that. I hear it caused quite the commotion.

However, some people can pull it off. Keep trying for the dream.