Know what’s great? That Queen Latifah is a lesbian. She seems to have (un)officially come out this week. However, a website with questionable authority seems to have broken the story. The only other person person who asserts Queen’s lesbianism as truth is a certain fat, gay blogger with brightly colored hair, who I will only refer to as “He Who Shall Not Be Named.” So we can’t say anything for certain.

My point is, that having The Queefa as a member of the club makes me a proud, proud homosexual. I’m offering some clips of one of her finest performances in one of my favorite movies of all time as a tribute to this Covergrrls complete greatness. Also, she plays a lesbian jazz singer in this movie. Art reflects life or life reflects art?

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Two things I’m not into:

1. Musical theater queerbombs

2. Musical theater queerbombs who wear “funky hats”

Today, however, I make an exception:

As I neared the end of the workday, I realized I had an open window of time before I was to meet up with friends later that evening. It being frigid outside, what better way to kill an hour than with what the words of my smoldering middle school health teacher, Mr. Veit, called “sexual intercourse”? (Though I don’t necessarily recall him including “with strangers” at the end.)

I checked the list of my good friend Craig, and started to play e-mail tag with a particularly handsome gentleman with an ass so taut, it might as well have been made of two bulbous light bulbs. After visually verifying that he had the same commanding body and facial structure as a young, crisply tanned Armand Assante, my penis and I agreed that “B” was our guy.

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So I’m sure some of you have lost your phone before. And doesn’t it suck rebuilding your phonebook? Right, you guys?

So, there’s this total fag hag I know? who sometimes appears on this site as Eeez? And she’s totes one of my besties. But she sent me her number through MySpace instead of email, and so I forgot to enter it into my phone immediately. And here’s where the inside-joke style hilarity begins. Strangers of the internet, get ready to be in the know with our totally awesome inside joke.

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