Have you guys seen this trailer for Asylum? Well I have now thanks to the lovely Gabe Delahaye over at Videogum.

Seriously though, I am so excited for this movie. Watching teenagers get slaughtered by mysterious forces and insanity is one of my favorite past times. This movie seems to have everything: needles in eyes (side note: seen Audition, because that movie is the king of needles in eyes), screaming blondes, mysterious pasts, S & M inspired scenes, scary doctors with no pupils, everything I tell you! I’ll be there opening night.

This is by the director of Final Destination 2, and all this Final Destination 2 talk going on in my own head as a result of being reminded of that (excellent) movie’s existence from the trailer had me thinking about how my good friend Jim Gaylord (yes that’s his real name) found a way to make teenage slaughter flicks meaningful, beautiful, and reflective. Read More!

My good friend Paul got the best friend request ever on Facebook this morning.

This really raised a lot of questions for me as well as making me laugh.

Is this a sign that spambots have finally infiltrated Facebook or is crotchbook a new trend? Could this be the efforts of some viral marketer trying to sell gays underwear? Do you think Dubi is stuffing in his pic? Does this merit the development of a new Facebook app called “Crotchbook”? Where could this man be from where his name is Dubi? Should I post more crotch pix?

I never followed up with Paul about how he responded, but I’m really curious what sort of response this guy gets and if he just sits around all day friend requesting guys with his crotch on display and what the response percentages are like. This sort of internet data could be really meaningful to marketers who are looking to virally market to chronic masturbators (me) who are looking to purchase crotch related products. I could really be the next internet millionaire considering the continually rising market for men’s luxury briefs.

Each week we here at GMSC receive a gazillion pieces of fan mail either lauding our gallant efforts to offer fresh material or more often than not suggesting a post topic. (No, bababooey@lycos.net, I wasn’t at Royal Oak on Saturday wearing cut off jeans and a tank top. God, I hate missed connections.)

One loyal reader in a letter suggested that we take John McCain up on his new Republican challenge: a $300 million government prize to whomever can develop a super battery that far surpasses existing technology thereby saving the planet from greed, filth, and famine. Hooray! I couldn’t help but get choked up with nostalgia, reminiscing about my days in the Boys Scouts when my father and I built a racing car for the pinewood derby. We lost. But the fight goes on!

So I took McBush™ up on his gimmick challenge, only to discover that I had absolutely no idea how to engineer a super battery à la Tony Stark. At first I thought Hillary Clinton could help. She has loads of free time on her hands now that she’s next season’s host of ANTM. She demurred. So I turned to the next best think tank in town: the Sugs, i.e., Sugarland. As noted, The Metropolitan had been closed by the DOH. (tsk, tsk dirty little Fitzy.) At first some participants were hesitant, but once those complimentary shots kicked in, several designs and blueprints came rolling in. You be the judge! Read More!

I can’t beleive they’re shuttering Metropolitan during pride week. Fuck the Department of Health!!! From Eater:

Williamsburg: Sure it’s no Veniero’s or Bao Noodles even, but we bet there are a couple of you out there who’d be saddened to know that Metropolitan Avenue bar Metropolitan has been shuttered by the DOH. And remember restaurateurs in the burgh, when the DOH strikes, they often do a neighborhood sweep. So put on those hair nets and restock the soap in the servers stations pronto.

Oh man. I can’t beleive they’re closing Metro during Pride week. Where am I supposed to go after the parade on Sunday?!?!?!?! Remember that time I drunkenly made out with someone outside of the bar and then they fell on their face and bled all over the sidewalk?

Good times!

But seriously, anyone have any tips about why this happened? It’s very upsetting.

This appears to be a week where I sit around and talk about meta-internet shit that no one else gives a crap about. One that note, Erin’s new blog about blogs that die after a single post, 1post1der.blogspot.com, is making me lose my shit. It’s like an elephant graveyard for infant blogs. She’s like the bone collector of blog fetuses. This blog is a beautiful refuse dump that provides some really excellent meta-commentary on blog culture and our age of new media. Basically I dig it hard. This one’s my favorite:

SPARKS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Wednesday, December 13, 2000
Finally getting a new personal page up feels great… I’ve been spending far too much time working on clan / squad webpages for all these damn games.. And I finally broke my crack addiction!
Crack: To be a game very addictive in nature. See: EverQuest, EQ, Verant Interactive.
Yeah, so I’m a hardcore gamer… F me. At least I’m not a geek, right?… ok maybe I’m proud to be a geek, but at least I can own people in quake3! …Maybe I should get back into playing Red Alert online… win more tourneys…

For those of you reading this who don’t know me well, I’m not just a gamer, I’m a DJ, spin occasionally at raves.. hardcore fan, an American Head Charge groupie (they’re a band in MN who recently were signed…), Ex-addict, gamer, … the list goes on, and hell, I’m even the father of a gorgeous 16 month old daughter who I just recently got visitation rights with!

Oh well, back to paying attention in class (hahaha visual basic is WAY too simple when you know C++ well)

The original entry is here. Now a point breakdown of why this wins in my mind. Read More!

Matt Richel writes for The New York Times today in an article on a new case where Google Trends may be introduced into evidence and set legal precedent.

In the trial of a pornographic Web site operator, the defense plans to show that residents of Pensacola are more likely to use Google to search for terms like “orgy” than for “apple pie” or “watermelon.” The publicly accessible data is vague in that it does not specify how many people are searching for the terms, just their relative popularity over time. But the defense lawyer, Lawrence Walters, is arguing that the evidence is sufficient to demonstrate that interest in the sexual subjects exceeds that of more mainstream topics — and that by extension, the sexual material distributed by his client is not outside the norm.

I have to severely disagree with his comparison of the two word search term “apple pie” with the one word term “orgy.” The difference in popularity for search is arguably not as meaningful as they might seem. The motivation seems more driven by the use the term “apple pie” as a gimmick in his argument than showing meaningful statistics. He should have used “group sex” against “apple pie” to make his strings consistent and rule out the slim possibility of people looking for the 90s band Orgy so that they can download their hit cover of “Blue Monday.”

But the real reason this caught my interest has to do with the search terms that most often bring people to my blog. Read More!

Fulsom Street East was great this year guys. It’s better than pride. Srsly. I definitely made out with enough strangers to prove just how much pride I have. Also, a Mexican leather man called me “papito” which makes me blush! It means little papi!

Although I have to say I really wish there had been some fisting demos.

Now a quick joke.

Why do gay men always lose in fist fights? Because they think a fist looks like this:

FYI, that is called the “Silent Duck Technique.”

Ok. This is old news. Seriously old news. Reporting on this now makes me feel like this:

Basically the biggest cinematic event of the year (for me) is about to drop and I’m sooooo excited. Bruce LaBruce’s “Otto” or “Up With Dead People” is soon to be released, and BUTT magazine is saying that there will be a DVD Box set of all his films to be released in conjunction. They’re doing a very Web 2.0 feature for an promotional booklet to be included with the set creating even more LaBruce buzz. Read More!

So I’m recently kind of obsessed with pretending to be the worst type of hipster ever and now this blog also. Perhaps my obsession is even bordering on pathological because I had to start a tumblr account for a fictional hipster named Cindi today to get it out of my system. Follow it and imagine she’s real and get endless laughs.

That being said I have a new game. Take a one of Jenny Holzer’s Truisms and replace a key noun with “hipster.”

• A lot of hipsters are crackpots
• A hipster means a lot just by itself
• A hipster can’t know what it is to be a mother
• A strong sense of hipster imprisons you
• Absolute hipster can be a form of freedom
• A relaxed hipster is not necesarily a better hipster
• Abuse of hipster comes as no surprise
• Hipster is just as dangerous as complacency
• At times your hipster is truer than you conscious mind
• Being hipster is more important than anything else

Endless hilarity guys.

Yesterday, Time published an article about new findings on the physiology of the gay brain.

Scientists at the Karolinska Institute studied brain scans of 90 gay and straight men and women, and found that the size of the two symmetrical halves of the brains of gay men more closely resembled those of straight women than they did straight men. In heterosexual women, the two halves of the brain are more or less the same size. In heterosexual men, the right hemisphere is slightly larger. Scans of the brains of gay men in the study, however, showed that their hemispheres were relatively symmetrical, like those of straight women, while the brains of homosexual women were asymmetrical like those of straight men. The number of nerves connecting the two sides of the brains of gay men were also more like the number in heterosexual women than in straight men.

The article continues, basically explaining that homosexuals are superheroes with the best powers of both sexes, “it may turn out that the brains of gay men possess only some ‘feminized’ structures, while retaining some masculine ones.” I take this to mean that my brain has the reasoning and emotional capacity of a woman with the strength and appetite of a man. Quite an argument for the homosexual agenda!

This got me thinking about my own brain. I couldn’t help but make a diagram of my brain and notice how actually it seems to be less the brain of a gender queer super being and more the brain of a dirty adolescent boy… Picture after the jump. Read More!